When you're going through hell...time to roast marshmallows or get the gasoline?

I've had a less than satisfying weekend. Along with all the inauguration madness, which I can't escape, my car wouldn't start and embarassed me in front my math tutor, I missed a conference call and was closed out of a decision ( my fault) and I got in like three fights in one hour with my best friend. Who I am presently not talking to because he insists on being rational when I want to just have an argument. Men! (Though I was right on a few things) I'm also less than thrilled with my classes, and as previously stated, GOV. GIBBONS INSISTS ON RUINING MY LIFE!!! Not only are his decisions ruining my life, they made me--momentarily--doubt conservativism. Plus, I feel like some very valued relationships, especially one of my oldest and bestest friends, are slipping away. I'm also very unsure of my future and have no idea what to do in six months.

They say when you are going though hell, keep on going. While I have been through much worse than the inconveniences of the last week, I feel the weight of these events on my shoulders. I suppose common wisdom would be for me to continue on as if nothing was going on and these things would resolve themselves. However, anyone that knows me realizes that I never follow common wisdom, and only follow common sense when it suits me.

I suppose traditional crystal action would be to discuss at length with Big Mama, eat lots of food laden with carbs, read JD Robb and Jen Lancaster novels, and shut out the world. Let's face it, I could do it. Certainly have before. Plus, I have a new wii and a marathon of Katherine Hepburn movies on the DVR. Indeed, my life is prime for shutting out the world, turning off skype and my cell and letting the world pass me by.

As seductive as that sounds, I'm afraid I can't do that anymore. I can't have a wild-eyed fit, or breakdown, or go into a snit about things not going my way. Apparently I'm an adult and those are not adult behaviors. Though they seem to work well for most of my family.

The truth is just I have to confront every issue and try to resolve everything as much as I can. And as far as Gibbons goes, good Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I'm out of here in 7 months.

I'm reminded of the country song by Ms. Rimes that is my new mantra:

I will learn to let go what I cannot change

I will learn to forgive what I cannot change

I will learn to let go what I cannot change

I will learn to forgive what I cannot change

I will learn to love what I cannot change

But I will change, yeah I will change

Whatever I, whenever I can

I just hope I have the will to change the toxic aspects of my own life and separate ego from logic.