Fresh Hell of the Day

Most awesome thing ever? I think so...

2009-07-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Some great videos for your viewing pleasure!

2009-04-22T15:20:00.001-07:00

I feel kind of bad for all the joy I got out of ripping you know who a new one so here's some happy videos to lighten your day!

I would totally do this for my reunion but thanks to facebook, everyone would know I'm not another chick. :(

I totally needed some taco bell after this. And why is that they never can understand Iced Tea and think I'm saying Hi-C but these guys can sing their order?

Why I hate Meghan Mccain

2009-04-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

I would like to go on record as saying, I didn't start hating Meghan Mccain. In fact, I was an early fan of MccainBlogette. I didn't realize why I hated her until today. Allow me to explain:

I don't like her. I hate her. She is one of the few people I would just really love to smack upside her bleach blonde head. I have more ire for her than I do Pelosi and Reid combined.

You would think that I would be a fan. I agree with her on a lot of the issues. I too am for gay marriage. We are almost the same age and I'm all about the plus-size power. But I don't and here's why.

1. She's using the movement. She's not a conservative. She's twittered many times in favor of government and until her Daddy was on a ballot, she didn't even claim to be a conservative. She voted for John Kerry. She supposedly voted for Gore when she was 16. Lie much? But she doesn't know what we're about. She hasn't spent her life trying to read and study conservative values. Yeah she has a picture of her with Goldwater when she was Four. But have ya read any Milton Freedman lately? Hell no. She is spending all her energies trying to become a celebrity and has realized that the only way that is going to happen is if she uses her family connections to become the young voice of the conservative party.

That brings me to the next point;

2. She's in it for the fame. Anyone that thinks there's good intentions in there is sorely mistaken. She's doing it right too. The quickest way to become famous is to have a fight with a big name and antagonize them until they reply. (Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham,) She said that she doesn't even know who Laura Ingraham is. Well, that shows she's doing her homework doesn't it? Maybe if she wasn't so busy getting her nails done and congratulating Perez Hilton for his clever frowning at the Miss U.S.A pageant she could take the time to listen to conservative radio, the medium of our movement? Honestly, I'm expecting a photo op with someone from The Hills next. Heidi and Spencer would sooo love her. And they have so much in common!

Not to mention she's using the gay movement. I for one, was so offended by the fact that she talked about her Gay friend, her hairdresser. Stereotype much? You have one gay friend? How is that possible? Speaking as someone who's life is almost a pride parade every damn day, I think princess needs to get out of her tower a little bit. I think that she has realized the power of the homosexual movement. I believe Samantha from SATC (that's Sex and the City for the newbs) said it most clearly when she pointed out that to become a sensation and be famous, you have to get the gays. Well, she may prance around like a Gay Icon but baby, Cher she is not.

3. She voted against Bush in both elections. Ok, we get it. You despise him because he beat your dad in the primary. That would hold water if she wasn't pandering to all the sources of media that screwered her father during the past election. She's going on The View? Hello, am I the only one that saw them treat her father like an idiot two months before the election? Has she no family loyalty that she would lower herself to sucking up to the women that spent four months promoting his opponent?

Oh, and thats not even the worst one. She. Went. To. Perez. Hilton's. Birthday. Party. You heard me. The man that spent every single day going after her father, who called him dispicable names, drew a penis on him in photoshop, and called her mother a DRUG ADDICTED CRYPT KEEPER. He crucified the McCains every damn day. She went to his birthday party. And yesterday she congratulated him on his behavior at the Pageant. She should have supported Miss California for going with her beliefs and standing up for herself. But no, she took that useless scumbag's side.

4. She is convinced she is the voice of our generation. Oh yes, she knows what we all believe. After all, how could we not believe everything she believes? Oh and we all like punk music and wear black so we must definitely want the GOP to appeal to that group. Of course, if she wasn't an idiot, she would realize that the punk market is actually pretty well covered. It's the rap and pop markets we need to grab a hold of. I'm the first to say that we need to change our image, but to even give credence to her shallow ramblings is the ultimate in idiocy.

5. When most ardent conservatives were working on campaigns, running for office in the College Republican chapters, and in general being young Conservatives, Meghan McCain was interning at Saturday Night Live. Which hey, is a kick ass internship. But as far as I'm concerned, she doesn't have the background needed to represent the conservative movement. She was never in the trenches passing out fliers for her chapter or doing the many backbreaking labor that has no purpose other than to combat the indoctrination on college campuses.

Now, I know what everyone is going to say. She campaigned for her dad. Well, yeah, he's her dad. Is there anybody that wouldn't do all they could to get their dad elected president? Well, I wouldn't but that's because my Daddy would just drop the bomb all over the Middle East and then call it a day. She may have been the child of a Republican Presidential Nominee and bounced on the knee of Barry Goldwater, but that does not make you a conservative leader or even a conservative. Just ask Ronnie Reagan and Patti Davis.

6. Lastly, and more importantly, Meghan McCain is the most self-absorbed writer/blogger/tweeter/pundit out there. She embodies the worse aspect of our culture and our generation. Every single remark is in reference to her and how she feels. Let's not say why Ann Coulter is bad for the party. Let's talk about how little Meghan doesn't like her because she is like, so controversial and mean spirited. Oh and Karl Rove is such a creeper because he follows her on twitter. Uh, hello? Karl Rove follows everyone on twitter. He follows me on twitter. That's half the point of twitter, you moron. Whats the point of learning about other people if you only follow 25? You obviously don't care to learn about what your followers think. Every tweet, every post, is about her life and what she's thinking. Honey, I know you think you're just fascinating but can you put some effort in to being more interesting? Honestly.

I'm not hater. I'm all about letting people do they're own thing and believing what they want. But when you start advertising yourself as the voice of a generation and you honestly believe that you can tell men who have been in politics for 20 years how to run a party, you need to be dropped down a peg. Moreover, everything she tells them is wrong. God, I hate hate hate Meghan McCain.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to unfollow her on Twitter because my gag reflex and my blood pressure can take only so much.

Okay, since I can't sleep, Here's an update!

2009-04-18T03:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm a terrible blogger. AWFUL REALLY! Usually my stuff is maudlin and I go months at a time and totally forget I have this damn thing. But since I can't sleep and doing school work on a friday night is just completely against the grain and my personal code, I'm updating this damn thing.

div>February-LBK-Spent time with granny and a few other social obligations. When I was down in Texas, Coco Chanel had her puppies. 5 of them! Then I went to CPAC that wavered from a lot of fun to clusterfuck to a lot of fun to clusterfuck. Ending on a massive blizzard where my toes practically froze off. But there was one mighty fun night at the hawk in dove involving alcohol, dehydration and many lady gaga songs. Good times. Which can be seen with Katherine, Myself, and my love bunny.

After CPAC, we had a scare when daddy had a bad case of Labyrinthitis. No, it has nothing to do with David Bowie and gremlins. Its the inflammation of the inner ear. He's been here since the first of March recuperating. He'll be fine in a few weeks if I don't smother him in his sleep.

March-Went to Chicago and spent a few days with the love bunny, Katherine, and Jersey. Great times. We went to the original pizza UNO, which meant something to them but I found the pizza not to my taste. Proving once and for all that the only thing around me allowed to be extra saucy is myself. Deuce (Love Bunny) and I had a lovely dinner at a restaurant called the Chicago Firehouse. He managed to piss off every cab driver we had.

The real fun started when we met our new friend Briana and a lovely boy from Oklahoma I kept inadvertantly insulting. We piled 6 ppl into Loretta the Jetta, Deuce's dirty slut of a car, and drove into Downtown Chicago. First, we were in Deuce's car and somehow it was decided that I would check and see if minor's could go in. Deuce pulled over on the side of the road and I was supposed to cross 4 lanes of chicago traffic to get to the bars. I missunderstood what my compadres meant when they were yelling, "Go go go go go, get out!" I jumped out of the car and was smack dab in the middle of the traffic. Apparently I really do move fast because I began hauling ass and miracles of miracles I didn't get honked at. But I did come within three feet of singing with the angels. Thats when I met a lovely tattooed and pierced gentleman of sixty named Ripley when I was checking out a club to see if they would take under 21's. My new friend Ripley climbed off his harley and walked into the Alley with me where the club was located and I had a nice conversation with the rather intimidating bouncer about our options with the occasional word with a man that ralphing his dinner about 5 feet from us. While I was trying to find out where Naperville was and telling them the best place to gamble in Vegas, apparently my friends were worrying that I was getting gangraped by jack the ripper and the manson family because as I exited the alley way, I saw Jersey in Full Soprano mode with his overcoat and black gloves coming down the street to rescue. It just warms the cockles of my heart that he was going to come and save me from the serial killers.

Anyway, we drove to some suburb and ended up in freaking Mayberry in which we checked out some club called Medusa's. i'm 85% sure it was a gay club since the bouncers were mighty fruity and one checked out Jersey's ass, which admittedly is mighty fine, but it screamed gay. As we exited the club, we ran into to gentlemen who I'm almost positive were skinheads, as evidenced by their shaven heads and screaming on the street that they were "motherfucking lovers of the constitution." They were loudly discussing Obama and while Jersey was obviously hesitant to converse, I brought out my southern charm-the kind learned on my Granny's knee, and asked them if they knew of any clubs we could go to. Now if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times, you can always tell how nice the people of a city are by the manners of their Neo-Nazis. They were very cooperative and a little scared of Jersey's, well lack of a better term, mobster yankeeness.

We then walked down the street and came across a Martini Lounge that had several black people who were wearing red shirts and bandanas. They also smelled strongly of cannabis, (see mary jane, weed, reefer, dazed and confused,) While they were unable to assist us in our quest, we were offered some "good stuff" and invited to celebrate one of the girls or "shorties" birthday with some libations and other things I can only imagine. Now if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, you can always tell the quality of a city by their inner city gang members. And we couldn't have been welcomed anymore if we were Diddy, Flo Rida, or whoever the kids are down with these days.

The rest of the chicago trip was spent looking at all the St. Pat's stuff, chasing leprechauns, and walking around the sites.

I've spent the rest of time trying to catch up on my school work, sick, and generally full of senioritis. Its been truly awful my level of Apathy. Today was an interesting day though. Lubbock was completely messed up by a major storm and several tornadoes and mom hurt her head. Sigh. Such is my life.

In addition to the update, I'm currently obsessed with Aaron Schock, who is the youngest congressman and is a mighty fine piece of man candy. See Below-

I'm also obsessed with Flannery O'Connor, J.D. Robb, blueberry poptarts, Jason's Deli chili, grape soda, Media Research Center, Twitter, (Geekiest sentence I've ever uttered? "I was following Newt Gingrich on Twitter and he tweeted that...") James Garner movies, finding a copy of The Quiet Man, and my iphone.

Songs I'm loving Right now: Wild at Heart Gloriana, 99 Times by Kate Voegele, and Fight Like a Girl by Bomshel.

Things that make me cry: This Video from the ACM awards with Trace Adkins and the West Point Glee club. Beautiful.

Things that make me laugh: This video from College humor, Finally the wedding of my dreams!

Well, i'm off to crash!!!

coming back soon!!!

2009-04-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

I graduate on May 9th and until then I'm going to be super super busy so expect a brand new post on the 10th!

RIP BUDDY HOLLY

2009-02-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

RIP BUDDY HOLLY

September 7, 1936-February 3, 1959

The GREATEST DISCOVERY OF OUR CIVILIZATION!!!

2009-02-02T22:42:00.001-08:00

Okay, so that might be a bit of an exaggeration.I have actually found the greatest dessert in the world. So great that I might consider this to be my greatest gift to mankind. It is bliss in a tortilla. The recipe is as follows. This may be the xanax and lunesta I took to sleep, but holy cow was it amazing.

2 Flour tortillas

2 tablespoons of nutella

2 tablespoons of warm lite cream cheese

half a cup of diced strawberries

2 teaspoons of extra light extra virgin olive oil

First you lightly coat the tortillas with a light extra virgin olive oil, Lightly!!! You pop them in the microwave for 30 seconds on high. The oil keeps them soft. Also pop in the cream cheese if it cold for 30 seconds. Take them out and on one tortilla spread the cream cheese on. On the other, spread the nutella. Put the strawberries on the nutella tortilla and put the two together like a quesadilla. cut in four pieces and serve with a mint and strawberry garnish. Oh. My. God. It's soooooooo good!!!

The worst hopenchange metaphor eva...

2009-01-31T00:52:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of lessons you learn in West Texas. Don't ever point a gun at any thing when handling it, stay away from yellow snow, and certainly, don't play chicken with a train. Those are the obvious ones. There are more subtle ones, ones that help you blend in with the other residents. (I never really mastered those.) But if there was one that had always seemed clear to me, (one for the record that I never had to learn the hard way) it was don't let yourself be seduced by a sweet talkin' devil who will promise you the moon. Ah yes, there was many a young girl that fell from grace or at least into the quarterback's backseat. And worst of all, everyone in town knew about it. Yes, the foolishness of youth that lead to repercussions ranging from public embarrassment to an std to a twenty year sentence, the kind that involves child support and no time off for good behavior.
Now, I'm sure anyone who knows me at this point is thinking, "oh shit, what did she do now?" But I find myself considering this life lesson when I think about how my generation was seduced by the hopenchange cult and High Priest Barry. (That's President Obama to those of you not initiated in the ways of the great hopenchange.) Moreover, how The Great High Priest is trying to seduce centrist republicans and conservatives while practicing his socialist voodoo that only he can do.
We were seduced. There is no other way to describe it. There were rumors of forgiven school loans, legalization of marijuana, and health care. We were told things that would never be possible or even advisable. We ignored every instinct, the ones that told us that he wouldn't help our need for individuality and our universal distrust and cynicism of government. We stopped listening to facts and started reciting mantras. Our need to be the most popular lead us to stop thinking about our country and think about what Europe thinks about us. Because, like, its sooooo hard to like, be disliked and talked rudely to when your, like, studying abroad like. Because everyone knows that the people of Europe are so happy themselves that they would welcome everyone with open arms if we just weren't Americans. However, I digress. Like those innocent girls who made tragic mistakes, my generation believed hopenchange when it told us he loved us and didn't want anything more than just to be together.
Sadly, hopenchange was more than just a quickie under the bleachers (yes, I am still running this metaphor) It did more than just feel us up and then report it to all his friends in the locker room. Its a life sentence that we will have to live with. Of course, my generation will be the last to realize their mistake as most of them get their news from the daily show, the internet, and youtube videos. But soon, they will realize their mistake. Or maybe they won't and will be able to convince themselves that it was wonderful. Its not without precedent, (the new deal, clinton presidency)
I've always said that losing your idealism is like losing your virginity. It only happens once and its because you really got screwed. I worry about what happens when we such excitement and worship turns to cynicism and bitterness.

Picture for the Sheeple

2009-01-20T12:36:00.000-08:00

Karma's a bitch

2009-01-20T12:14:00.000-08:00

Let's see how they like four years of defending their every position and decision.

Crystal's Revised Inauguration Prayer

2009-01-20T11:44:00.001-08:00

Benediction at Obama 's inauguration, Rev. Joseph Lowery:
"'Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. Say Amen'...

CRYSTAL'S AMENDMENT TO SAID PRAYER

"Lord, please give me the strength to suffer the fools in front talking over the rest, the idiots who know not what they do, and give knowledge to the those who possess delusions of grandeur. Help the victims of true injustice and punish those that merely think they are. Give us strength to fight the battles that will save liberty and invividual freedom. AMEN"

When you're going through hell...time to roast marshmallows or get the gasoline?

2009-01-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

I've had a less than satisfying weekend. Along with all the inauguration madness, which I can't escape, my car wouldn't start and embarassed me in front my math tutor, I missed a conference call and was closed out of a decision ( my fault) and I got in like three fights in one hour with my best friend. Who I am presently not talking to because he insists on being rational when I want to just have an argument. Men! (Though I was right on a few things) I'm also less than thrilled with my classes, and as previously stated, GOV. GIBBONS INSISTS ON RUINING MY LIFE!!! Not only are his decisions ruining my life, they made me--momentarily--doubt conservativism. Plus, I feel like some very valued relationships, especially one of my oldest and bestest friends, are slipping away. I'm also very unsure of my future and have no idea what to do in six months.

They say when you are going though hell, keep on going. While I have been through much worse than the inconveniences of the last week, I feel the weight of these events on my shoulders. I suppose common wisdom would be for me to continue on as if nothing was going on and these things would resolve themselves. However, anyone that knows me realizes that I never follow common wisdom, and only follow common sense when it suits me.

I suppose traditional crystal action would be to discuss at length with Big Mama, eat lots of food laden with carbs, read JD Robb and Jen Lancaster novels, and shut out the world. Let's face it, I could do it. Certainly have before. Plus, I have a new wii and a marathon of Katherine Hepburn movies on the DVR. Indeed, my life is prime for shutting out the world, turning off skype and my cell and letting the world pass me by.

As seductive as that sounds, I'm afraid I can't do that anymore. I can't have a wild-eyed fit, or breakdown, or go into a snit about things not going my way. Apparently I'm an adult and those are not adult behaviors. Though they seem to work well for most of my family.

The truth is just I have to confront every issue and try to resolve everything as much as I can. And as far as Gibbons goes, good Lord willing and the creek don't rise, I'm out of here in 7 months.

I'm reminded of the country song by Ms. Rimes that is my new mantra:

I will learn to let go what I cannot change

I will learn to forgive what I cannot change

I will learn to let go what I cannot change

I will learn to forgive what I cannot change

I will learn to love what I cannot change

But I will change, yeah I will change

Whatever I, whenever I can

I just hope I have the will to change the toxic aspects of my own life and separate ego from logic.

I'm voting for a fucking democrat...yes, I said DEMOCRAT!!!

2009-01-16T13:24:00.000-08:00

Thats it, I'm walking over to the dark side. I'm entering the land of evil, global whining, cultural relativism, and b. hussein obamania. I have had it with the governor of Nevada. It was one thing when he cut out my major. I could take that. But now the bastard wants to cut the budget for unlv by 52%, thus eliminating the liberal arts college. IT'S A LIBERAL ARTS UNIVERSITY!!!! Plus, he wants to cut the teacher budget by 6%. How am I supposed to be taken care of in the manner that I have been accustomed to if my mom gets paid less? Don't they know the unemployment rate for millenials? There is no way I can survive in this state without a job and Big Mama making less. THAT SORRY SON OF A BITCH!!!

I have never been for raising taxes, but when a state pays the least taxes of anyone except alaska, you can raise them enough to pay for what you've already created. Lesson to Republicans: If you want young people to become republicans, don't shut down their college.

Sigh, this is a great test of my faith in conservatism. I'm going to have to do some soul searching. ALONG WITH MY JOB SEARCHING YOU CHICKEN SHIT SON OF A BITCH GIBBONS!!!!

Now, I'm off to my thesis class that I had to take this semester because the bastard removed my major.

Coming soon

2009-01-07T01:44:00.000-08:00

One of my new year resolution is to start writing on this sucker again so I'm going to start on the 13th with a new look and everything...

Okay, time to start back to this

2008-11-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

I've been a very bad bad girl. (insert dirty comment here) I've gone several months without writing on this blog and I have been terribly neglectful. Shameful I know.

I wish I could catch you up on my life, but not to put to fine a point on it, a shitload has happened lately. What with the presidential election, the writing of my novel, the formation of Team C and my burgeoning relationships with several people, I have been a busy little beaver. (insert less funny more crude comment here)

I suppose I could talk about my own little existential crisis and my current Quarter-life crisis about what I could do with my life. I could talk about amy incredible disappointment with the electoral process and my disillusionment about the sanity and intelligence of the American People. I could go into great depth about my personal journey and the overcoming of my past. But all in all, I really don't think anyone cares. Tonight we all are just thinking about Pumpkin Pie and Turkeys. And after the long day/long week/long month/long six months I've had lately, I find it exhausting to think about writing a blog entry when I have television on the DVR and my toes are freezing. Suffice to say, time to go to my room, spread out on the bed, get under the covers, and watch some Murphy Brown while listening to the rare sound of Rain (yes actual honest to God Rain) patter against my window.

Soon, I will write a long blog entry about what I believe to be the future of conservativism, where I am currently spiritually, the latest events of my life, my future plans, and my penguin slippers. ( they are very cute!) {They are wearing Earmuffs} Not to mention my pleasure over the new Godiva store that opened and the beginning of my favorite season. Not Christmas silly. Rodeo season---a season where God gives Crystal the special gift of hot cowboys wearing stetsons and tight denim. It is, simply, the most wonderful time of the year.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Why so quiet you may ask...

2008-10-03T00:58:00.000-07:00

Debate commentary

2008-10-02T17:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on here in a while but I've decided to have a debate commentary. I'm watching Fox news, stay tuned.
Keep refreshing the page for my comments

6:03 Can I call you joe?!?! Settin' him up...

Biden is such a douche. Why is she smiling?

Get to the point sarah. She looks stressed...loosen up sarah.

Yes! Mention the campaign suspension

friends on both side of the aisle my ass.

Nice save Sarah!!!

I love her!!!

6:09 Great way with the common people. She's making herself to be one of the people. Which she is.

Biden is sounding like that boring prof that sounds like charlie brown's teacher

Talk about the derregulation! Talk about the deregulation! That wasn't what he said!!!

Talk about the deregulation! Biden is such a smug son of a bitch. Lull him into complacency.

Yes! Yes! Go sarah!!! Saw that patriotic comment coming!

6:19 She's getting in the zone!!!

Where is he getting these figures?

is it just me or is he boring? like really hard to concentrate boring?

That's great...that was so great. He's on the defense and we look goooooooddd!

Okay, that was a good come back but I don't understand what they stand for...

6:29 Let it go. You don't have time for this. Get to it!!!

Biden 3 Palin 2

Biden is so full of Bullshit!

She just nailed his ass.

Great job!!! Traditional marriages but still legal rights...

Hahaha! Nail his ass

6:40 This is supposed to be her weak point...

You can't tell your enemies that you have a timeline. Stupid...

Yes! She is really throwing his words back at him... Hilarious!

Ok sarah, go back to that

6:46 Paper tiger comment coming

I think she is more impactful that McCain.

She's knocking the foreign policy out of the park

Score Biden 4 Palin 6

What friends and allies are he talking about

Ifill is doing well...

Palin needs a better poker face

He is just making this stuff up...

Look at his face!!!! Classic!!!!

She's doing great!

I'm slowing down because I'm just entranced...

Great answer. He is lecturing like a professor. She's talking to you like your next door neighbor.

There is becoming such a clear difference in their talking style. I think she is coming off as refreshing.

She's really working the whole in touch with the common man thing.

Biden goes to home depot? Why didn't someone tell me? Obviously he's deeply in touch with americans...

The extra credit monologue was cute...

She shouldn't have opened the vice presidential more power can of worms...

Great speech sarah!

excessive passion/obnoxious blowhard tomato/tamahto

sobbing to attack dog in 60 seconds, good job joe.

Biden---snnnnoooooorrrrreeeee

Closing remarks---Nice little jab against the media... She is a true patriot... Liberals and Republicans agree, great closing statement.

Biden is such a snoozefest. Nice last line though...

How do we think she did?

Ah, 23 years old. God that sounds old.

2008-08-29T01:58:00.000-07:00

Attention, I have an Announcement!

>>>>*~*TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!*~*<<<< ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Please, no applause. And as is my way, I have trouble sleeping sometimes and feel the need to express my innermost thoughts even though no one ever reads it and this usually just turns into a session of self-indulgence. But then it's my birthday so the world has to do what I want!!!

Well, where to start? How does one encapsulate 23 years of life? Eh, too much effort. Let's just talk about where I am now.

I am, for maybe the first time in my life, genuinely and utterly happy. Even though I'm surrounded by liberal indoctrination and general nut jobs, I don't care because so much of my life is just simply lovely. I have my forever best friend Travers who, bless him, let me rant and rave about Obama, make snarky comments, and tell him about my uterus for thirty minutes last night. He is just one of those people who are just simpatico with my soul. I have such wonderful friends spread out all over the country. I have my new network of friends, Team C. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy Blue, Kat, Lash, Deuce, Jojo, Jersey, and the Captain. They are truly great friends. Then I have such wonderful friends as Felicia, who I always can talk to and makes me laugh. I'm living in a Beautiful house, that is like a palace compared to where I've lived before. (most people don't know this, but I've spent most of my life in Trailer houses) My classes are completely nuts full of liberal indoctrination, but hey, thats interesting. I have a new car. And even though my Grandmother is having several problems with her kidneys, everyone else seems to be doing well.

But I think the biggest difference is the transformation that occurred this summer. I feel so free of my neuroses. i'm not going into a big thing about all the bad stuff that happened in Italy, but all those things happened and I survived. I had surgery last Sat, something I've been putting off forever, and I survived. All of these seem silly, and they do now, but I was paralized with fear about being unliked, unpopular, alone, and pain. Now thats its all happened I feel so free. Free like I could never be in Lubbock Texas.

Furthermore, I'm so proud to be an American and living abroad makes me love this country sooooooo much. God is Truly Great.

So even though my birthday is usually really depressing, this year I just can't be depressed about living in Las Vegas, being a year behind in my classes, or being away from all I love. Because for me, it might not get better than this. And God knows, its been much much worse. So this birthday? I'm doing good.

Now if McCain could just make my birthday a complete delight and nominate Palin or Hutchison for VP.

The Rise of the Commodore!

2008-08-14T17:55:00.000-07:00

okay, I'll try to keep this brief as I explain all the stuff thats gone down in the last few weeks. Its been some wild shit man.

Okay, let's back track to my little mini vacay with mi madre. It was really great to show my mom the sights. She has dreamed of Washington DC for so long. She squealed like a little girl when she saw the capital and I had to practically drag her out of the natural history museum. She loved it so much. It was unfortunate that the American History museum was closed but nonetheless, it was fabulous. As dorky it sounds, I just love being with my mom. Even when she is driving me nuts.

Also, I got to see two of my best friends in the world. Two people who I absolutely adore, Fran and Travy!

We celebrated Trav's birthday in style at Gordon Biersh's and then we hopped over to Busboys and poets for a while. We concluded the night at the Black Cat. I would like to go into more detail but mainly we talked and had a few drinks. It was just so fabulous to be with these people who've i haven't seen but once in 4 years and yet who've had such an impact on my life. These are the kind of friends that are lifetime friends, the ones that you want your kids to play with when you're older, the kind that you call when something great happens to you. I'm so blessed to have them in my life.

And then there was the Yaf conference. Oh so much to say and so little of it printable!!! Where to start? Oh dear...

Well, I was rather hesitant to attend this year's conference. It always amazes me that I'm the most conservative (dare I even say cleanest mouth?) in the room unless I'm in Lubbock Texas or this conference where I'm consequently demoted to Satan's handmaiden. One can only take so much disapproval of one's (granted completely irreverent and inappropriate) sense of humor.

However, I have to say I can't remember having so much fun in my life. I somehow became a commodore of a team of unique individuals, people who on the surface don't have that much in common and yet bonded so tightly that we are still calling and messaging each other a week later. We all have nicknames and yes, i came up with them. It just seems like we transcended all the minute things that keep people from getting to know each other. So for me, last week was special. And was really great was being loved. I guess I've been treated too harshly by my peers in Vegas and Lubbock. At this convention, people actually seemed to think i was funny and clever. I think that the events of the last four years had made me forget that feeling of riding on just one big wave of laughter.

Oh, and I announced my major was stripping on C-span. Mustn't forget that little tidbit. See video in previous post

Suffice to say, I met some of the most intelligent and moral people I will ever meet and I love being a conservative.

Of course, I came to Texas for my Semi-annual trip and found out my grandmother is having near fatal kidney failure, my friend from high school is having a hellacious time in Mexico, and that I have to have emergency surgery next week, but hey, thats another blog entry.

Mom is so proud

2008-08-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

My C-span appearance where I claim to be a stripper.

Top 27 Fav Songs

2008-07-23T01:55:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep, so I'm going to address one of my fav subjects, music. These are, in no particular order, my fav songs. I got the idea a while ago from my dear friend Shannan. Here we go:
Shine by Anna Nalick

Gracie By Ben Folds

One toke over the Line Brewer and Shipley

For what its worth Buffalo Springfield

Layla (unplugged) by Eric Clapton (C's note-Sexiest song ever written)

Lonely Girl br Cross Canadian Ragweed

The Long Way Around by the Dixie Chicks

Desperado by the Eagles

Valley of the Low Sun by Jakob Dylan

Something Good this way Comes by Jakob Dylan

Fire and Rain by James Taylor

Daughters by John Mayer

Neon by John Mayer

Gardenia by Mandy Moore

She will be loved by Maroon 5

Always on my mind by Michael Buble (c's note: Hate hate hate Willie's version)

Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum

There's a fine fine line from Avenue Q the musical

Carry on by Pat Green

Texas on my mind by Pat Green

50 ways to leave your lover by Paul Simon
La Vie Boheme From Rent the Musical

Maggie May by Rod Stewart

I wish I was a punk rocker (with flowers in my hair) by Sandi Thom

Fields of Gold by Sting

Here you go, the soundtrack to my life!!!

new Jibjab!!!

2008-07-20T17:46:00.001-07:00

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

My new Musical Love

2008-07-16T00:41:00.001-07:00

I am so utterly and completely in love love love with Jakob Dylan. That's right, Bob's son. His entire CD is completely brilliant. It's his daddy's voice, John Mayer's lyricism, and pure poetry rolled into one. Unbe-freakin-lievable.

You have to download it.

Especially War is Kind and Valley of the Low Sun.

I'm adding Something Good This Way Comes to my absolute all time fav list!!!

Jakob Dylan Lyrics
Something Good This Way Comes Lyrics

The Truth About Italy

2008-07-10T23:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm tired of explaining the whole saga to everyone. It seems easier just to post what happened as briefly as possible and move on. This has been edited because I'm so over all of this that I don't want any more drama from that quarter. So this is the last word on the testament.

I hated Italy.

Now you ask, How could anyone hate italy?

Let me break it down.

I signed up to be in the dorm. I did not want to be with Americans, and I wanted internet. I ended up in an apartment with two Americans. No internet. I was terrified that I wouldn't have anything in common with or like the people. Bingo, ended up disliking most of them. I would normally feel bad about saying that publicly, but trust me, they did not like me either. They really did not like me. And its not that they were of the bad sort. Well some of them were annoying as hell. I can't go by a trader joes anymore without wanting to scream. Yeah, that experience is ruined when you hear a 45 minute monologue about oh my god, how great trader joes is. It's like so wonderful! The cupcakes are delicious! Have you ever had the sushi? Oh my god! So good. (yeah, that for 45 minutes)

I just am at point in my life when I want to talk about more than what they wanted to talk about. They loved each other so much that I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they talked about something more than what I heard. Surely. Surely there was more to their conversations that what I heard. I am willing to think that there was more to them than what I saw. I just couldn't be around them. Which was obvious to them so I annoyed the living hell out of them too. And trust me, they did everything except put out a notice in the New York times telling as many people as possible about it.

But they didn't see the real me. They saw the Crystal that shut down when she saw how it was going to go. When I saw that I didn't get internet and the people I was sharing an apartment with, I shut down. I got depressed, more depressed than i ever been in my life. I was completely isolated in a foreign country without internet, dryers, dishwashers, television, radio, books, AIR CONDITIONING, and intellectual conversation. With some of the most annoying people in creation. Not only were they annoying, but they constantly talked about me behind my back. Not all of them were this way, just some of them and it brought the general discourse down. Besides being generally depressing, I hadn't done anything to these people. And they said the most vicious things about me. Not only me, but the people that were wonderful to them. Like the guy who fed them all the time and had them over at his house or this sweet guy that helped me with my computer. Much less these two girls that hung out together.

Maybe its just the way I was raised, but if you know someone is suffering and depressed you help them. You invite them out. But they shut me out. My roommates never invited me to anything and treated me like crap with such a double standard. And the things they said about me (and let me tell you the walls in that apartment were so thin) were absolutely vile. And they said not one word to me about anything. It was the most two-faced, insane thing I've ever seen in my life.

I was a witness the most idiotic political commentary on Earth. Meeting some of these people, I see now how people could fear for the future of the world.

Don't get me wrong, I was no picnic. I'm pretty sure I did not do a good job of hiding my revulsion and general depression. I was so depressed that I think I started having physical symptoms. For four days, I had the worst headache of my life. I don't know if it was a virus, or just from crying all weekend. In some ways, I don't blame them for not talking to me or ignoring me. Its hard being around someone who can barely stand you. Not to mention is depressed and rapidly approaching bitter. When someone has those qualities, the only word for it is bitch. I was a major major bitch at times. But I maintain I had cause. I just have trouble separating their behavior with my impressions of most of them and my resentment for the whole situation. I don't thing they realized that they hadn't invited me to anything and that I had been shut out. Part of it was because I come from a culture where you wait for an invitation and you never ever invite yourself. Maybe they expected for me to say outloud I wanted to go with them, but thats verboten where I come from.

And there were several people who I could have liked, but never got the chance. I probably should feel like I missed something great because they were all so in love with each other, but I kind of felt like I had made the greatest escape of my life. I was so determined to get home I ran across the German airport barefoot. I was not going to miss my connection dammit!!!

Plus, lets face the fact that I've had the experience that they had. I've had that great experience of meeting people who are completely simpatico with you, who you just fall in love with. And that was part of it. I've had such great experiences that I had much too high expectations. Suffice to say, I didn't cope well with my disappointment.

I also need to mention I took the worse class in the history of the world there. So so so awful.

However, I have to say that there were some bright spots. Chiefly, the Mediterranean. I loved it so much I painted one wall in my room the color closest to it. And there was one night that I loved where I let my hair down and got to dance. They were quite fun that night. And there was the night with the crazy norwegians. And that night I sat out on my balcony and watched the rain hit the Med. Or Capri, the most beautiful place on Earth. And Gelato! I have a new passion, Gelato! Or lemon Vodka. Pasta Carbonara. When I close my eyes at night, there are new images that set me at peace---italian sunsets, beautiful shoes, and Capri.

But the best part? Italy set me free. I realize now that I have lived so much of the last 4 years in fear. But the worst thing possible? All the things that held me back that terrified me? They've already happened. I've been isolated, alone, unpopular, stabbed in the back, heartbroken, unable to communicate. I've been miserable. I've been humiliated, bashed in public, judged. I've gotten in a rowboat and couldn't swim. I've had awkward conversations with strangers. I've had to stop and show my ignorance. I've had to live on my own without a net. Without technology, I had to rely on my brain to get me through. I was lost so much in Italy that I practically had to send up smoke signals. I've walked alone in a strange country at 5 am. I've taken the wrong train and had to hang out in one of the worst places in Earth. I've had to deal with people I couldn't stand and make it work. I was about as alone as I could be. I was more depressed than I've ever been.

And I made it. I don't fear storms anymore. I learned to sail a ship to sail me through them. I realize now that I was afraid to live the life that I wanted because of all these things, things that happened to me in Italy. All the things I feared the most happened and I made it. I've never been scared of death, just taking the risk to live the life I want. A life of passion, travel, and chaos. A messy life of grandeur. A life that is unconventional and even at times miserable.

I guess it all comes down to what Elizabeth Gilbert said in EPL. "Virginia Woolf wrote, 'Across the broad continent of a woman's life falls the shadow of a sword.' On one side of that sword, she said, there lies convention and tradition and order, where 'all is correct.' But on the other side of that sword, if you're crazy enough to cross it and choose a life that does not follow convention, 'all is confusion. Nothing follows a regular course.' Her argument was that the crossing of the shadow of that sword may bring a far more interesting existence to a woman, but you can bet it will also be more perilous."

So would I go through the misery again, the bone aching loneliness, the utter agony? I don't know. Had I chosen another program, I might have had a better time, a wonderful international experience. I might have gotten to have great conversations with some europeans, the reason for the whole exercise. And had you asked me last week, I would have said God Yes. Anything would have been better. But now, I don't know. I think going something that absolutely awful made me a better person, more capable of handling the life that I can see coming towards me. Will I be better for it? I have no idea.

Plus, I've never been a bigger republican or more in love with my country. I love America so much right now, you have no idea. Thats something.

In closing, let me say the past is past and I can only live from this day on. So those who read this will now understand why I hate talking about those 5 weeks of my life and why I want to hurl every time I hear the words pizza or trader joes.

Something I learned the hard way:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” -Charles Swindoll

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

“To become a spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.” ~Oscar Wilde

Italy, Whats the deal?

2008-06-24T09:50:00.001-07:00

Okay, so some of you have been asking why I haven't been posting on the Italy blog. Its simple and not as tragic as it sounds. I just really have been laid back here and not getting out and seeing everything Italy has to offer. I know, chance of lifetime, grand adventure, live life and all that. But I just haven't been feeling it. I realize that its hard to imagine me not having fun where I go whether it beautiful Italy or outer Siberia. But as previously stated, I'm a complicated creature. While its beautiful here, I just really didn't get the opportunities for intellectual conversation that I had hoped. Most italians don't speak english here and I just find it way too tiring to have to converse with the Americans here. I should amend that to most of them. One can only gossip and bash people so much. God only knows what they've been saying about me. Apparently. I am a sobbing pile of whinyness and depression without modern technology. I refuse to appologize for being a child of the 20th century. My generation is tech savvy and yes dependent and there is worse things in the world. After I get my final grade, I'll tell you about my prof. oy! Even though Italy hasn't been what I've been expecting, even yes, a terrible mistake, I can't regret coming here. I feel like I have more pieces to the ultimate knowledge I've been seeking and another piece to understanding the human condition. It's helped my writing and moreover, its given more credence to arguments I've been making for some time. Plus, I've been able to buy some awesome awesome awe-some shoes. I'm supposed to be working on my final so I'll not tarry here, but I will include some lyrics that seem appropriate. They pretty much summarize my feelings, which is even more depressing. Yes, I've been a little ray of sunshine here, yessiree. Hahahaha. Trust me, when I'm home and can tell you the real story, you will totally understand. Another summer day Has come and gone away In Paris and Rome But I wanna go home Mmmmmmmm Maybe surrounded by A million people I Still feel all alone I wanna go home Oh, I miss you, you know And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?” I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough My words were cold and flat And you deserve more than that Another airplane Another sunny place I’m lucky I know But I wanna go home I’ve got to go home Let me go home I’m just too far from where you are I wanna come home And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life It’s like I just stepped outside When everything was going right And I know just why you could not Come along with me This was not your dream But you always believed in me Another winter day has come And gone away In even Paris and Rome And I wanna go home Let me go home And I’m surrounded by A million people IStill feel alone Oh, let me go home Oh, I miss you, you know Let me go home I’ve had my run Baby, I’m done I'm coming back home Let me go home It will all be all right I’ll be home tonight I’m coming back home

2008-06-24T09:48:00.001-07:00

Okay, so apparently this is when God has decided to make my trip a little more interesting. Last night, when I was calmly doing my homework, my upstairs neighbor got locked out of his apartment. It was quite the crisis because just about everyone's homework was in his apartment. So as you can guess, everyone was totally freaking out. There was about 5 of us and mike and so they all went back to where Mike had thought he had lost his keys and traced his steps. I stayed in case everyone needed let in the building and because I thought this was pointless. Mike was really upset and was looking at climbing gutter pipes like spider man and using wire to hook on to the handle. While he was doing this I went downstairs and wrote down in my best italian from my dictionaries "I have lost my key, can I climb on to your balcony?" Yeah, I didn't think it would work either, but we were running out of options. So anyway, I talked him into going downstairs and at least trying to sweet talk our way into the building next door so he could climb on the roof to his patio. Thus getting in his house. We went downstairs and we just couldn't figure a way to get in next door. So I stopped an Italian couple and using my phrasebook, which does not include the important phrases like "I'm locked out of my house, may I climb on your roof?" Clearly a gross oversight on their part. Don't think I won't be writing a letter. Anyway, I start doing these wild hand gestures that are rapidly turning into an interpretive dance of pacing our lane pointing at our building and then miming climbing and then running to the other building and pointing. Anyway, the couple watch the show for a minute and then the man makes a call on his cell. I can't understand anything except, "molto stupido americano" in the entire call. He tells us to wait there for 20 minutes. Anyway, meanwhile one of the other girls in the program comes over and goes up to my apartment to put up some jello she had brought over. As she comes down the stairs, I look over to the end of the lane and what pulls up? A Fucking Firetruck!!!! Yes, four really good looking italian firemen came out of a firetruck, laughing their asses off. Michael is just sitting there going, no! No! No! I'm laughing hysterically and I turn to sonya as she comes down the steps and I tell her "you have to go get my camera, trust me, its on the table. GET THE CAMERA!!!" So I'm explaining the problem to the firemen and they are like, no problemo. So we all trek up to the top floor and three of them get this little plastic strip out and unlock the door. The main guy is standing on the steps and his eating this up man, he thinks this is so funny. So I ask him if I can take his photo and he says yes. (See below.) Anyway, they get the door open and ask to see Michaels passport and after that michael asks if he can take their picture. They say. "We want the women" I'll be posting soon that picture. Lord have mercy, the things I get into.

2008-06-24T09:47:00.001-07:00

I am a complicated creature. Now some of you reading that statement who know me well or even just have a nodding acquaintance with me are thinking: “Well, duh. You went 8000 miles to Italy, spent an ungodly amount of money and that is your great epiphany? I could told you that for a quarter and half an uneaten tootsie roll.” Allow me to explain why I feel the need to point this most glaring fact out. I am in a picturesque village in the Italian countryside, whose architecture is breathtaking, the people smile at me when I pass them, mostly because I look like a cute little fat American. I can hear the rain tap the cobblestone streets, my neighbors are playing an Italian love song of some kind out their window and my apartment looks like a movie directors dream. In short, this is one of those moments that are supposed to carry you throughout your old age, those blissful minutes that you keep tucked in your memory to tell your grandchildren. I am so fucking miserable I can’t even stand myself. See!?!?! See?!?! Is that nuts or what? How can you be miserable in Italy? In TUSCANY?!?!?! What the hell is wrong with me? Allow me to explain why I feel this way so that you can gain further insight into what has the potential to be one of the great clusterfucks of my life. There is no TV, no newspaper, no radio, no satellite radio, and NO INTERNET!!!! I have no internet. I can only get internet by going to an internet spot that for all intents and purposes is only open from 4 to 8. Of course, for all intents and purposes, ITALY is only open from 4 to 8 because the Italians eat lunch from 1:30 to 4. Normally, I would not mind this as I am all for a long lunch. However, I have class until 1:30 every day and after that, I am alone. Yes, alone. Totally and completely alone. People who will tell you that most Italians speak English have never been to Viterbo. No one speaks English here. I want to converse with these people so much and yet, I can’t because of a language barrier that is so wide we might as well be from other planets. No international students! I have only met one and I didn’t get a chance to talk to her because she was leaving the coffee shop I was in. I am going to try to find more of them but its really hard because the University is really just a few buildings, a joke of a library, and a cafeteria. And most of the Italian students don’t exactly look thrilled to see an American in their vicinity. Of course now we must get to the heart of the matter, what about the other Americans? Most people like you Crystal, so you must be making friends with the other Americans right? Well not exactly. To say we are not getting along is not accurate. I have been the soul of southern gentility, as unbitchy as possible and I think it just comes down to I can’t keep up with all their walking and they have left the weak link behind. And I don’t blame them. You see, you walk everywhere in Italy, EVERYWHERE. Which actually I was surprised to learn that I did not mind this. Unless its uphill. My little legs have never actually walked up a tall hill in their 22 years of existence. They don’t know how to function. And of course, I had either the stomach flu, dehydration, or poisoning from the water the first few days so that didn’t help matters. But in my inner most heart I can’t help think a lot of it is we have nothing in common. Though in truth there is one or two, I would like to smack the living crap out of. But they aren’t a bad sort, in fact most of them are very very very nice And I have party central, their main meeting place, right above me. But I have different interests from them and don’t know how to make conversation. I know, I know, I never thought there would be day that I couldn’t make conversation. But maybe it’s because I come from a different culture or maybe its just I’m having such a difficult time adjusting, but I’m just not having any fun with them. I hope that will change. Of course, over the last week, I’ve been asking myself what I wanted out of this experience. And I realized now I wanted 4 things: to eat as much Italian food as possible, to see Rome and Florence, to have intelligent conversations with people from other countries, and to learn how to live on my own. Also I guess I thought living here for a month would help heal me from the Great Depression of a couple years ago. Yes, I got this from Eat Pray Love and now it’s turning into “Lets All Pray Crystal Gets Out of Here Alive.” Having purged all the poison, all my misgivings, all the pain from this experience from my soul, allow me to tell you what I love about Italy. Yes, there is some kind of magic in a place that you can still love even when you’re miserable. A place that even almost getting run down by a crazy fiat driver puts a smile on your face. There are so many things to love about this little corner of the world. I love Italy so much that I even don’t mind that every shower I take is a new experience in second degree burns and hypothermia, that learning how to use the washer was a week long epic journey that involved more work and brainpower than any final. I love the rain here so much that I splash in every puddle I can. I wouldn’t even do this when I was little, but, here its so wonderful for the skies to open up and let down all this beautiful water. I didn’t even care that my sneakers got completely and utterly filthy, ruining the pristine white that had caught my eye when I saw them on the shelf. That just made them more Italian. I love going to all the different stores and buying just what I want. I don’t care that’s its inconvenient or expensive. I just love getting to have a new encounter with an Italian every time I buy something. I love looking out my window and saying buongiorno to my neighbor across the alley, who is about 10 feet away. I love leaving my windows open at night and letting the cool air in. It makes me feel like I’m a part of everyone’s home, that we are all connected. I haven’t had much Italian food in the restaurants because I had a yen to cook. I didn’t like going to the supermarket the first time I went but now I love looking at all the different foods, guessing what they might be by the pictures. I bought some chicken at the supermarket here and sautéed it in a little butter, olive oil, and garlic, and it was the juiciest, plumpest chicken I have ever tasted in my life. I had pizza here and its so good that I ate almost the entire pie. Even the coke is better here and its so terribly expensive I’ve been hoarding it like a squirrel’s nuts. And then there are the pastries!!! Oh the pastries. Every morning I go by a little bakery that makes cookies to die for and croissants with little pockets in them. Once they are done baking they put either apricot jam or nutella in them. “Oh the nutella!” She screams in rhapsody. It has given me so much satisfaction its almost sexual. I eat it with everything---bread, fruit, potato chips. I’d even have it on top of pasta if I didn’t think it would freak out my roommates. Maybe not, but it is so good I cannot describe to you how wonderful it tastes. The best thing about everything being in Italian is that I can’t read the food labels, which means that I cannot be held responsible for the calorie count in the food I eat. Yes, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I’m getting fatter but hey, blame the Italian language!!! And yet, I had not gotten to the best part of my Italian food journey. The Gelato. Oh gelato, how did I live 22 years without you? Gelato is the new love of my life, something so blissful so absolutely lovely that were it not blasphemous I would make it my religion. But them God would smite me and where would I get my beautiful gelato? Bellissima gelato! . For one of the first times in my life, I have no words. There are no words. It’s the greatest ice cream on Earth and a passion that has been kindled in me. How I love it! I could live off of it and whenever I eat it I cannot imagine being miserable in Italy. How could anyone be miserable in the vicinity of Gelato? Like I said, I’m a complicate creature.

Essay for YAF Conference

2008-06-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she has a defining moment. A moment so clear that she understands a truth greater than herself. I had mine last week when I realized something very important about the state of the world. American liberals are idiots. Of this I have no doubt. However, European liberals are just plumb out of their minds, dangerous nutjobs in fact. I had this realization as I sat in a Tuscan cafe, enjoying a caffé and croissant. I overheard two girls discuss American politics and to put my feelings in a nutshell, I was terrified of the state of the world. The more time I spend here in Europe, the more I believe in American foreign policy. They say its supposed to be the opposite, but then I’m the same person that got here, realized there were no clothes dryers, air conditioners, cable television, and internet and said distinctly, “somebody get me the heck back to Texas!” If the European Union is going to be as powerful as everyone is predicting, than the fight needs to start right now. We as conservatives have our own defining moment now and I strongly believe in our cause. The more that is revealed about Mr. Obama the more disgusted and worried I become. I am even more disgusted when I think about the fact that it might be my generation that gives him the White House. We have become blinded as a country by all the swill that is thrown at us that we have lost our way, lost sight of truths that used to be self-evident. We now live in a world where our media hates people of religion, values or own a gun and have forgotten that it was a group of highly religious people armed to the teeth that landed on Plymouth Rock. And as much as we may claim to have friends in the international community, I am convinced now (as I sit in an Italian internet café) that there will be no help from that quarter. They say travel is broadening and that is true. Being here in Italy has made me appreciate America is ways that I wouldn’t have imagined a month ago. It also has given me insight into the value of the American Conservative Ideal. I firmly believe we are rapidly becoming the last defense in a world that has gotten completely and utterly mad. I live in a world where Michael Moore is a frequent visitor, where the professors are allowed to call the president “Georgie Porgie the election stealer,” and where there are sex workers conventions going on in the auditorium. Allow me to say its very Twilight Zone when you are in the middle of Renaissance Lit and hear “Whores Unite!” from the next room. And as much as that used to upset me, I realize now that all of those things are symptoms of a greater disease, of a greater problem. All the liberal eccentricities that I deal with on an every day basis are mere trifles compared to what is to come if we lose this election, if we do not fight this like our very lives are at stake. Because I realize now more than ever, this is life or death. Because if we lose what we have, there will be no tomorrow. And I will fight this madness with every breath in my body, with all the strength I have, with every skill I possess. Because I believe. I believe in so much that could fade away in the face of the liberal sickness. And that is sooo not going to happen if Crystal Boyd has anything to say about it.

I just bought two kermit the frog purses at target so in honor...

2008-04-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

This is the one I remember watching over and over.

Eat Pray Love, some of my fav quotes.

2008-03-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

I've been raving about this book for close to six months and I noticed today that I have blogged about it. Please allow me to correct this grievous error of judgement.

I am so so so so so in love with this book. I love this book more than any i have ever read. Gilbert is such an amazing writer. I want to be just like her, only less liberal and not as skinny. And not as tortured if i can help it. But seriously, it will be one of the great classics twenty years from now. Keep in mind I've probably read more books in the last 15 years than most people have in the last 70.

The quality of the writing is so awesome, so fantastic, its hard not to love it. It's about one woman's journey “to explore the art of pleasure in Italy, the art of devotion in India, and, in Indonesia, the art of balancing the two.”

Here are some of my fav quotes:

"Traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt...that to travel is worth any cost of sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not been loyal and constant in my other loves. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless newborn baby---I just don't care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because its mine. Because it looks exactly like me. It can barf all over me if it wants to---I just don't care." p. 41

"The great Sufi poet and philosopher Rumi once advised his students to write down the three things they most wanted in life. If any item on the list clashes with any other item, Rumi warned, you are destined for unhappiness. Better to live a life of single-pointed focus, he taught."p 29

"In the end, what I have come to believe about God is simple. It's like this-- I used to have this really great dog. She came from the pound. She was a mixture of about ten different breeds, but seemed to have inherited the finest features of them all. She was brown. When people asked me,What kind of dog is that?" I would always give the same answer: 'she's a brown dog.' Similarly, when the question is raised, 'What kind of God do you believe in?' my answer is easy: 'I believe in a magnificent God.' " p. 14

"I want to have a lasting experience of God... Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time, but I don't want to be a monk, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God."

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror—the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then they leave. And thank God for it... Problem is, you can’t accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby—you’re just lickin’ at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And, if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable.”

"I warn myself not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve."

"One must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation."

"To my taste. the men in Rome are ridiculously, hurtfully, stupidfully beautiful. even more beautiful than the Roman women to be honest...They're like show poodles. Sometimes they look so good I want to applaud. The men here, in their beauty, force me to call upon romance novel rhapsodies in order to describe them. They are 'devilishly attractive' or 'cruelly handsome' or 'surprisingly muscular.'"

Am I free or just high on zyrtec?

2008-03-26T10:49:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning free of my Texas baggage. Yes, indeed. Granted I could be hallucinating from the sinus infection. I have a killer headache. But for real, all the things that used to bother me about where I came from, the little eccentricities of Lubbock that opposed my general beliefs are no more. Let me walk you through it.

I've been a tad melancholy lately. I know, we are all shocked. Me? Sad? Noooo. But I've felt lately that its the end of an era. I've been in contact with some of my oldest friends lately, ones that whose friendship I have tried to foster since we graduated. These are friends that know where I came from, who knew when i was an entirely different person. And friends that I really don't have that much to talk to about anymore. It made me sad that think that these mainstays, these wonderful were slipping from me. For so long they have been my dock lines, the ropes that tied me to the Texas port of my soul. Just by talking to them I was able to touch back with all the things I left. If I felt sorrowful that they were all getting married young, tying themselves to their high school sweethearts, I could sigh a superior sigh. I was so secure in the knowledge that they were making a mistake. I am still sure of that with a few. Nonetheless, i have always been in tune to where they at in their lives, in sync with what they were feeling. Now they just make me feel old and wizened.

Sometimes I can't help looking at some of them, with their bright and shiny degrees, waiting to take the world by storm, and thinking that they are out of their minds. They still think everything will be so easy. It's utterly bizarre to me to think that the world is an ally when I try to fight it everyday. I'm so cynical and world weary now. And should that be the way you are when you are 22? Shouldn't you have a fair grasp of how the world works? But if there is one thing I know, living in Texas, especially West Texas, doesn't prepare you for the real world. It is not in any form or fashion the real world and I always feel just sick to my stomach for the people that want to spend their lives there.

But is that it? Should my only feelings for most of my old compadres be pity? Should it be that most of the time when I think about Texas, it is now with a feeling removal and distance. I'm really not a Texan anymore. It makes me sad to say it. But even the ones I feel closest to seem so shallow, so completely out of touch with everything I value. What does it say about me that I'm just so over it? I've moved on so completely that now I feel adrift, cast out into a sea of yankees. Every time I go back now, I look at it like I would any place I traveled to. Temporary. Its just not home, not a place i want to associate with anymore.

Thats not to say I don't value my old friends. It's just for the most part, they aren't a part of me anymore. Sometime I think every time I get close to someone, some part of me becomes devoted to them. I'm losing my Texas parts. I just don't understand them anymore. Texas has such a different mindset than Vegas, than anywhere. You have to talk to them, react in entirely different ways. Its like learning a different language and realizing that you have to address people of authority in a different way than you would a peer. I've lost the part of me that can communicate with them, the part that even wants to. Its all such bullshit.

So i guess today is the end of an era. I'm not a Texan anymore.

Technical Difficulties

2008-03-05T13:31:00.000-08:00

I'm having technical difficulties with the blog formatting. Part of this is because I'm on the school computer when I should be working and another is because blogger is Satan. Please be Patient.

Las Vegas is crazy...more than usual I tell you.

2008-03-02T22:18:00.000-08:00

What the Hell is happening to this town? First, the clinics reuse needles and don't clean their machines after doing colonoscopies. Then, a guy with enough ricin to kill us all is caught just off the street. My dad's been driving me nuts worried about me in Italy, but, crap I'm headed to Europe to be safe.

Dinesh D'Souza

2008-02-24T18:34:00.000-08:00

Dinesh D'Souza is a genius!!! ^Link^Link^Link^Link^

Fresh Hell---Am I the only one that sees it?

2008-02-21T03:45:00.001-08:00

I love john mccain, but am I the only one who thinks

there is a certain resemblance?

51 things to do before I die

2008-02-20T20:51:00.000-08:00

Attend at least one major sporting event: the Super Bowl, the Olympics, the U.S. Open. Swim with a dolphin Have my portrait painted. Learn to speak a foreign language and use it. Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France. Watch the launch of the space shuttle. Have sex on a forest floor. Have sex on a train. Own a room with a view. Buy a round-the-world air ticket and a rucksack, and run away. Put my name down to be a passenger on the first tourist shuttle to the moon. Send a message in a bottle. Ride a camel into the desert. Learn to ballroom dance properly. Go to Walden Pond and read Thoreau while drifting in a canoe. Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home (just once). Shower in a waterfall. Drive across America from coast to coast. Go wild in Rio during Carnival. Drive the Autobahn Donate money and my name on something: a college scholarship, a bench in the park. Build my own house and then spend time making it into exactly what I want. Kiss the Blarney stone Visit the Holy Land. Learn to bartend. Learn to Weld Have a bit part in a television show Be on the New York Times list Write a screenplay Play roulette in Monte Carlo Spend a summer in Italy Write a song Visit all seven continents Ride a horse through countrside on my own. Send a message in a Bottle Wade in a public fountain Experience weightlessness Crowd Surf Drive the PCH in a Convertible Make a huge slip and slide Spend two weeks at Canyon Ranch/Golden Door See the Getty, MoMA, Louvre, Chicago Institute of Art, Float in the Dead Sea Visit the Hagia Sophia Go to Delphi Get drunk on Guinness in Dublin Get a ton of beads at Mardi Gras See the Taj Mahal See the pyramids Run for the Senate Visit an Active Volcano

Great Lyrics

2008-02-16T21:25:00.000-08:00

It ain't coleridge, ain't great poetry, but its the music of my heart. In my next life I won't cuss so much I won't ever touch that first cigarette In my next life I'll stay away from bad boys I'll listen to that voice inside of my head I won't wake up and look in the mirror wondering what I did last night But in this life I want to have a good time I wanna live fas tHit it as hard as anybody has' Til they turn out the lights If I get to come back I promise you that I'm gunna walk a straighter line In my next life I'll keep my shirt on when I'm at Mardi Gras Gettin' loose and free In my next life I won't do body shots I won't think I've got to try everything I'm gunna be a little angel who gets her kicks flying right But in this life I want to have a good time I wanna live fast Hit it as hard as anybody has 'Til they turn out the lights If I get to come back I promise you that I'm gunna walk a straighter line In my next life But in this life I want to have a good time I wanna live fast Hit it as hard as anybody has Til' they turn out the lights If I get to come back I promise you that I'm gunna walk a straighter line In my next life I'll keep my shirt on when I'm at Mardi Gras If I come back... We forgave yoko ono when the beatles broke up and went there seperate ways We forgave no show George jones for kicking back at home when he should have been on stage Nixon Clinton, Pee-Wee Herman, they got off scott free, oh why cant you forgive me We Forgave Milli Vanilli, We forgave Willie for cheating the IRS Miss Field Goal Kicks and the Dixie Chicks For all that Political Mess Justin, Janet, Every lawyer on the planet all the crap thats on TV Oh Why cant you forgive me Chorus--Was it really all that bad Were we really all that mad, I say live and let live Forget and Forgive Its all Water under the Bridge Repeat Chorus Well you forgave your momma for all her drama You forgave your sister too Your hairdresser you dont hate her for messing up your DOO Honey I love you didnt mean to hurt you, I'm sorry baby PleaseOh why cant you forgive me Runaway Bride those fema guys they got off scott free Oh why cant you forgive me

D'Souza is a freaking Genius

2008-02-06T13:54:00.001-08:00

Hah!!! http://news.aol.com/newsbloggers/2008/02/05/is-mccain-a-real-conservative/

Why the conservative commentators need to get off their pity pot and be practical

2008-02-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

Today is a sad time for me. I feel as if I am in mourning. I am saddened because today is the day I must take a stand against the conservative establishment and the conservative commentators I so adore. Rush, Sean, Ann, Mark, Laura, and yes, even Glenn have forced my hand on this issue. Their prognostications of doom and their hatred of John McCain are sinking both the conservative party and the influence of talk radio. They are decrying the supposed leftists and independents that are voting for McCain, as if these are the ones who are turning the tide. I think its time for them to realize that any leftists and independents who are voting are voting in the democratic race. Thats the exciting one, the one that the media focus is on. The people who are voting for John McCain are the ones who believe in his national security experience as well as his efforts to actually work with the left wing establishment. Instead of having a candidate who can be respected by most of our country, they want to elect to polarizing figure who don't have an ice cube's chance in hell of winning a national election. Further more, they are so prideful and angry at McCain that they are willing to kill the conservative and republican parties. By encouraging 'suicide votes' they are indeed killing us all. They would be willing to lead any hope of a republican candidacy to its demise, any hope of turning the tide on international public opinion, just so that their enemy McCain will perish. Let us be clear, they are not doing anything honorable. They are not throwing themselves down on the sword. They are handing Osama Bin Laden the keys to Fort Knox, a media station, and an Uzi. They are compromising themselves and our country because he is not the perfect candidate. Let's face it, there is no perfect candidate. But I strongly believe, along with the polls, that he is our best shot. We need to realize that Satan himself would be a better candidate than Hillary Clinton. But that might be a moot analogy since I not quite sure they aren't one and the same. It's time for the conservative establishment to buck up and face the truth. Our party is in trouble and we need to grasp what ground we can by getting the most likely candidate, John McCain.

Two posts in one night? Yeah, Insomnia kicks in.

2008-01-31T02:04:00.000-08:00

Ah, with the start of every semester, we have the usual freaking out and hysteria. Getting to where i'm actually sleeping at night instead of living like a vampire. (Hey, I'm sorry but the most interesting things always happen at night) I'm currently in my second week and its safe to say for the first time in my life, I'm, dare I say, completely unable to cope with my classes. I am, as our jewish friends would say, completely Farklempt. I am so utterly sickened by my class schedule, terrified one would even say. Its not the times or days, though dear god why the university studies department has to schedule a class at 8:30, I don't know. It's the topics and the prof's that deeply trouble me. Currently on my mind is my general lack of enthusiasm about life and/or my cynical nature. Sadly, this will only contribute to what I fear is going to be a very bad semester. First we have my Contemporary American Culture class. Actually, I was looking forward to this one, but now I fear it will be a critique of American Culture class. First on the docket of movies we will watch? Bowling for Columbine. I don't think it is a stretch to say its symptomatic of an American movement that thinks "the world hates us, so what are we doing wrong?" Our college professors tell us the principle of culture relativism that should be applied to every culture, no matter how barbaric, except our own. We aren't allowed to have a set of standards that we could judge a culture on, we are just supposed to believe that the culture is delightful because the culture "has ancient traditions" and "we can't truly judge it without first walking in their shoes." However, no matter the virtues of our own country, no matter how outstanding we are in comparison, we are to be critiqued because Europe is angry with us. Oh and the middle east doesn't like us. Like this is something new. People think it terms of September 11 and forget the middle eastern attacks that we ignored since the carter administration. And I don't care if Europe is angry with us, I'm not too thrilled with Europe. Yeah, I'm going to bite my tongue on this one. At least the professor is fairly cool, though I think he hates teaching that class. You can tell he would rather be doing poetry. But only at UNLV would they put a guy with a doctorate in poetry, who has been published, teaching a research class. I bet he would be a pretty good poetry teacher. And much more professional than Canadian Casanova. This is on top of the movie I watched last week entitled, Violence in America. Most of which was completely biased liberally, which every class is, and blamed American violence on guns and booze. The last ten minutes was pictures of dead bodies and a little thirty second blip of a man shooting his wife. But that one is my own fault since the class is one on serial killers. Its for my soc requirements and yes, all that blood and death is going to be fairly depressing. However, the biggest worry is geology. I was worried about my sciences anyway but the classes I was put in are disasterous. My lecture prof is from Chile and I only understand every other word. Plus apparently he teaches you all this stuff, 55 slides a class, and then none of it is on the tests. But my lab class is what scares me. I should have known it was going to be a clusterfuck when there was all this mix up before class, but I literally do not understand one word my lab professor says. He has a think accent and mumbles everything. Even when he was standing next to me, he kept having to repeat everything. I just wanted to lay down my head and cry, it was that frustrating. I can't remember being as upset as I was after that class. I'm so very upset still. I'm screwed.

Why I Now Support McCain

2008-01-31T01:17:00.000-08:00

Apparently as conservatives, we have two options. John and Mitt. I confess to being somewhat underwhelmed. Okay let's face it, we are all suffering from electile dysfunction. Mitt has too many problems, i.e. flipflopping and his religion, and Mccain is not a true conservative, according to every radio host from rush to sean to glenn to the great one. He likes amnesty and was against the bush tax cuts. Of course there was his opinion of gitmo and interrogation techniques. In short, we are all having problems with our apparent non-choices. The things that's interesting is that the democrats think this will split the republican party. However, as usual, they once again underestimate our hatred of billary. The only person I think the republicans wouldn't vote for over hillary is osama bin laden. And now that obama has aligned himself with Teddy K, he has made himself much more of a republican target. In short, as much as liberals hate bush, which is supposedly their uniting force, we hate hillary. I think its hard for liberals to imagine this, but its true. So the question remains, Mitt or John? Personally, I'm going along with electability. Yeah, Mitt is the candidate I most agree with and yes, he's probably a better choice, but it doesn't matter. If you are right when your boat is sinking, you're still heading to the bottom of the ocean. Mccain can win. Further, i'm beginning to think it wouldn't be such a bad thing to have a man that could bring some peace to the national politics. He's a good man who stands by his convictions, and further, he will stand up against the terrorists. Most importantly, he can win. As much as I would love for conservative values to be back in the white house, i would much rather have the devil himself than hillary clinton. McCain is the only one who could beat them. The republican party is ailing folks, we are mired in the mess bush left us and any number of problems. Its time to be practical. On a personal note, John McCain's wife needs to get a better bra. Lift and support honey, lift and support. She's a beer heiress married to a U.S. Senator, you would think she could afford a better stylist/personal shopper. oy vey! But then again, she has a lot of baggage. She's a former prescription drug addict who had a very serious stroke in 2004. On the other hand, she's in charge of a $300 million dollar company. I just looked up Mccain on wiki. We have the same birthday! Who's more likely for VP? Thompson or Rudy? What do you guys think?

Crystal's Presidential Predictions

2008-01-17T21:49:00.000-08:00

With the caucus coming up, it is that time my readership has so looked forward to. My readership of probably one but none the less, its time for me to say where I'm predicting Nevada going. First of all, I think Obama will take Nevada. Its a maverick state that is comprised of left wing bleeding hearts, ambivalent apathetics, and angry former republicans. That is who will be voting in the democratic election along with the culinary union which is a very important block. Actually, I don't think the culinary union would be as important but they are going to be allowed to vote in the casinos and there is more emphasis on their voting than ever before. Not to mention the very transparent lawsuit filed by the teacher's union that made the caucus even more controversial and high profile for the culinary union. The way I figure it, the extreme lefties will go for hillary more than any other group, but I think Obama is becoming more and more viable for them. I think the ambivalent apathetics that actually get out in vote will do so because it is really being hammered here. Those that will get out will vote for Obama. He has a certain cache that appeals to them. Further, I think that the people who have separated from the republican party will vote for Obama because the hatred for Slick Hilly still remains. I think that the Obama image is so much stronger here. Even though the Hillary commercials are very irritating. For the Republican Party I project a win for Romney. I think it will be very close. I know that the republicans have not campaigned here at all because the believed that the large Mormon population will turn the tide for Romney. However, I think this is wrong headed because there really isn't enough of a Mormon presence to make an easy victory than one would believe. Plus, the presence of many Mormons in this state has also created a certain uneasiness with the Mormon church that is seen as very forceful and over powering. I think Nevada more than any other state will have a Romney anti-vote. Actually, I think the next contender will be Ron Paul. He is the only one that is campaigning and the man has a huge machine here. There are Ron Paul signs everywhere and moreover, the man has slaves. There are more Ron Paul signs than any others on the roads. As a matter of fact, a week ago I was calling a Ron Paul victory. However, I am revoking that as two days ago because I don't think enough Paulites converted to Republican before the cut off. You see, the republicans are once again making everything a great deal more complicated. Though its probably very smart. You have to be a registered republican for thirty days to vote in the primary. I changed over in protest but mine must have got lost because as of today, I'm still an independent. I confess, even though I won't get to vote in the Primary, I'm still happy to claim Independent status. I could vote in the democratic primary. But I really don't care enough and that many liberals surrounding me would make me break me out in hives. Not that I don't love the liberal population, but that's a minefield. Due to this, everyone is terrified that a bunch of republicans will vote in the democratic primary because they can just sign a form and do it. Hypothetically, you could vote in both. As for me, I'm still very conflicted about who I would like for president. However, since its all academic, I can just send good vibes to all the Republican candidates Except Huckabee. I hate Huckabee. The man is not a conservative and is so religiously zealous that the liberal media is salivating that he might be our candidate because he could be slaughtered in an a general election. His son is crazy, and he is just too Evangelical. He is a zealot that turns everyone off that isn't an Evangelical. Of course, I say that and then I meet the most surprising people who like him. Like my dear friend Mr. T, who shall remain a mystery. He is a liberal that actually interned for Clinton who likes Huckabee. He will vote for a democrat, he doesn't know who yet but my money is on Obama because he's always been a fan. But when talking to him the other day, his first words were I really like Huckabee. My reaction, of course, was, ARE YOU HIGH?!?!?! I loathe upchukabee. Absolutely abhor him. I think he's a total nutjob. In other news, lately I have felt the irresistable urge to buy a red trench coat and a stand up mixer. With a bread hook. The Mixer, not the trench. I also am looking forward to my class on serial killers.

c'est la vie

2008-01-12T06:46:00.000-08:00

I haven't written on this thing in a while. Part of its just nothing has been going on in my life. My biggest debate is whether to go to Europe this summer. God willing I will be in Italia in June. I'm still trying to figure out how I want my life to go. I'm not excited about my classes this semester. I'm taking geology, the geology lab, two University studies classes and one on serial killers. I hope at least part of geology will teach us how to use a loupe. As for the presidential election where to start? I just had this chat with Travers and the truth of the matter is that I'm underwhelmed and I think that the republicans are screwed. Which is probably what we deserve as I must say I am a little annoyed with my comrades in arms. Actually, I'm more flabbergasted. Why do people constantly seem surprised to hear I'm a conservative? What is it about my personality that makes people assume I'm a liberal? Is because I'm very live and let live or because I curse like a sailor? Moreover, why is that I find a lot of the college republicans I'm around, uh, to be shall we slightly grumpy? Eh, let's just say they don't care for me either. Probably why I always hated being in the college republicans. I think there might be something wired in a college republican that says you have to promote conformity along with the GOP. Which I find surprising as they are fighting the liberal university establishment themselves. Why does being a CR preclude accepting the typical oddball/non-establishment type? If nothing else, its bad PR. The CR groups that don't offer haven to diversity is failing to benefit the school and is losing a golden opportunity. A lot of students would align themselves as conservatives if we weren't victims to the image. Further, I hate the word conservative as it fails to encapsulate the ideas of the movement fully. If the liberals are becoming progressives, I wish we could get a new name. Sometimes I feel like saying outloud I'm a conservatice with my wild manner, loud laugh, and general flamboyance is ridiculous. And I think everyone around me thinks it is too. I believe in smaller government, rights of the individual, guns, a strong military, and more guns. I wear animal print, talk too loud, drink too much, cuss, and, if you will forgive the immodesty, quite a bit of fun. I'm a conservative but not conservative. And its that tenet, that contradiction, that lends considerable trouble to my life. It leads to assumptions that annoy the hell out of me, even though it does come in handy in making me more endeared to my psychotically liberal professors. But even that is irksome. Indeed, I am in limbo on many issues. I am a gypsy, searching for a permanant home and a purpose. I can dabble in my little tantrums and crises because I am a child of indulgent parents and a self indulgent generation. Which brings me to the latest thing on my mind. When is self indulgence go into the realm of unforgivable selfishness? I seem to be surrounding myself with people who are taking self indulgence to the point of hurting others. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the celebration of self. Let's remember that I'm the person whose life long ambition is to have a national holiday named "Crystal Boyd Day" just so there can be an annual parade all about me. With Elephants, twirlers, and shriners in those little cars. But I keep thinking about Natalie Holloway and how what happened to her could easily have been anyone of the people I know. They do things with the idea that its their life and they should live it up. Yet, I think its important to remember how many people have invested in our existance and their pain if something were to happen to us. Not just our parents, but everyone that would mourn the passing of a reckless youth. I'm so annoyed with this idea of each person's life being their own. No man is an isle and everything we do affects the people around us. About now it the time people should be realizing that doing the stupidest thing possible and blaming alcohol or youthful stupidity is immature and a dangerous habit to get into. Well, thats about all my rants. In other thoughts, Tony Romo is utterly overrated, I want another dog I can name Dorothy parker, househunting is going to be the death of me, and my diet starts tomorrow. Kill me now. I'm actually looking forward to class so I can back in my routine. “When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.”-Proverb “There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.”-Mark Twain

Alcohol

2007-12-29T22:21:00.001-08:00

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more beer for me. 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

Further proof that nothing good happens after 2 a.m.

2007-12-28T01:22:00.000-08:00

The problem with being a night owl besides the fact that I'm usually alone is the fact that during the night when there aren't many distractions, I find myself thinking. Now, this might not be a problem for most people, but then most people don't fixate and repress their emotions like yours truly. They also probably aren't as obsessive. For instance, I'm the type to have all her ducks in a row. Especially when it comes to my future career plans. I can't just coast expecting something to pop up. I need to know whats coming around the bend in a year. So that's one of the reasons I'm freezing my butt off at 3 am in my gran's kitchen in Lubbock freakin texas. I can't seem to figure out what I want to do with my life. And its driving me insane. Another thing that is bothering me on this chilly night is the assassination of Bhutto, one of the biggest American Allies in the world. I worry that this is such a bad turn for Americans as well as the Pakistanis and i know that we will definitely feel the repercussions of this sad state of events. I feel sad for a woman who had lead such an epic life. I had such respect for a woman that would challenge that level of chauvinism as well as the terrorists. I just wish I had the answers. When I lived here, I thought I had all the answers and everything was going to be easy. Furthermore, now I feel ashamed of the fact that in my inner most hearts I am looking down my nose at most of these people. I have becomed all the things that I would hate about them, judgemental and closeminded. I look at these good, salt of the earth people, with their kind hearts and loving souls and I know that even though I realize these things, I feel like any number of them are idiots. I'm ashamed because I sneer at these people I know and love whose entire goals in life is to get married and be a teacher. How can I sneer at this when my own mother is a teacher and I believe that it is the most noble profession? I guess I believe that I have transcended West Texas and its citizens. I look at these girls who are so in love with the idea of love and marriage, who plan their weddings to the smallest detail and I want to smack the living hell out of them. I want to be like, "don't you know how much potential you have?" or "why are you settling for so little?" I cannot fathom a world composed of sports, religion and some mediocre teaching career. I don't understand why they believe the most important day of their lives will be their wedding day. Whatever happened to ambition or finding happiness within ones self? Theirs a reason why there is such a high divorce rate for my generation (85%). Its these stupid kids seeing the hearts and flowers and not the rough road ahead of them. I worry that these girls will look back and wonder what they could have been if they hadn't shackled themselves to the first boy they ever fell in love with and settled for teaching in some small town in the middle of nowhere. I shudder at the images that compose these girl's nirvana. Which brings up another point. My mom told me that my Grandmother is worried about me. She's worried that when she passes on, I won't be able to handle it. And she's right. When I went to college, I went into an incredibly huge abyss of anguish. I can't imagine losing my grandmother. I only have her and my mother. When you're an only child, you start noticing that their are only a few people in your sphere that are truly your world. For me it was always my mother, my papa, my granny, and erratically my father. My papa died when I was 15 and I'm realizing that i might only have ten years or less until I am completely alone. Just the thought scares me more than I can put into words and to tell the truth, I think I might go insane living in some strange city all by myself. I've always had such a close relationship with my mother and it terrifies me to lose her. So much in fact I've selfishly thought that it would be easier on me to go first, just so I would never be alone. It would kill them. Literally shatter my mother. But I would never be alone. I never want to get married. I look at all the marriages around me and while you never really know whats between two people, I never want to have the relationships that my family have. Whether its being emotionally dominated by your husband or being so needy that you can't cope, I think I would rather be alone. I'm scared. I am scared for the future of the world and democracy. I'm scared of the future in itself and my total lack of vision. i'm scared that there is some vital piece that all these girls know and that I am missing. I'm mostly scared of being completely alone and in the cold. I'm so terrified about things that are distantly in the future and I'm fixated on what I think may be my worst fears. All of this, along with a few other things that have happened have proved to me that nothing good happens after two 'o clock. I can relate one minor lesson I learned this week. At Brynn Naylor's funeral, the preacher who I have enormous respect for was talking about how he had googled brynn's name and all these wonderful comments coming up. I spent the rest of the funeral grief stricken and so sad, but afterwards it occurred to me that the odds were good that he had come across that blog entry and the rest of my slightly controversial/risque bloggery. Lesson learned? don't write anything you don't want your pastor to see. Quote of the week "Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

a couple of holiday blessings

2007-12-25T02:10:00.000-08:00

I wish you health, I wish you wealth, and happiness galore. I wish you luck for you and friends;What could I wish you more? May your joys be as deep as the oceans, Your troubles as light as its foam. And may you find, sweet peace of mind, Were ever you may roam. -Irish Blessing If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character. If there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home. If there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nation. If there isorder in the nation, there will be peace in the world. So let it be. -Scottish Blessing

Merry Christmas and all that crap

2007-12-25T00:40:00.000-08:00

I was going to write a entry on Christmas and what has happened so far in lubbock but I'm really not in the mood. Plus the really interesting stuff can't be published or ever mentioned again. lol. Look for an entry on Brynn's funeral tomorrow night or the day after. For now, its almost three and me and bryson are cooking eggs and sausage for a midnight snack. He just grabbed the wrong spice for the sausage. Lord help us. We will probably wake the whole house, but screw it. Christmas isn't so great now that Santa is dead. Merry Christmas!!! bah humbug...

Small Comforts make the time go by

2007-12-15T22:27:00.000-08:00

Those not familiar with the new reincarnation of Crystal (or at least this month's version) often tell me how much I've changed from when they knew me last. Its not just that most of my accent is gone or that I'm not as unstable as I once was, its just also I'm more serene. I often put this up to more self analyzation and reflection, but the truth is that I've tried to mature. Part of that is the daily things I tell myself. Some times its proverbs, often its quotes, or just small events in my life that I hold to my heart. I've discovered I need those more than ever the last few days. George Orwell once said "People sleep peacefully at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." Mark Twain - “Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." William Shakespeare - “So wise so young, they say, do never live long.” David Searls - “Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.” Benjamin Franklin - “Our friend and we were invited aboard on a party of pleasure, which is to last forever. His chair was ready first, and he has gone before us. We could not all conveniently start together; and why should you and I be grieved at this, since we are soon to follow, and know where to find him.” I tell myself that he died in a state of grace and that is what we should all hope for. I tell myself that perhaps he was just too good for this world. I tell myself that he died doing the greatest service to his country. And furthermore, I tell myself that it was his time.

Yeah, none of this helps.

I'm so angry. I'm so angry and tired. I want to raise my fist in the air and ask, why? Why do we expect young men to take the bullets and the bombs when we can't even face ourselves in the mirror? Why is there so much waste? Why did this promising young man die? Some people can take comfort in God, in heaven, and in His mercy. I'm just hoping to find a few minutes when the weight on my shoulders in a little lighter. I can't get his face out of my head.

James Whitcomb Riley -

“I cannot say, and I will not say

That he is dead.

He is just away.

With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,

He has wandered into an unknown land.

And left us dreaming how very fair

It needs must be since he lingers there.

And you— you, who the wildest yearn

For the old-time step and the glad return—

Think of him faring on, as dear

In the love of there as the love of here;

Think of him still as the same, I say;

He is not dead—he is just away.”

No Title

2007-12-14T12:30:00.000-08:00

Having previously stated the obvious many times, the obvious being that I'm am an emotional trainwreck who majors in deep contemplations and neuroses, it should come to no surprise to any of you that I am deeply saddened by the events of yesterday and I feel as if my world was shaken off its axis. Having said that, I realize that I could wax on about my own mortality, my current existential crisis or many of the other topics that are indications of a inner conflict, self-awareness, and too much time on my hands since finals are over. I could talk about my own stress of finals and my life, going back to texas, blah blah. But its times like these that I realize my personal thoughts that I feel compelled to share with the world (which for the most part doesn't give a damn) are really just too much self analyzation and self pity. While I do want to touch on the affects of Brynn's death on my mental state and how its changed my thinking on a few things, I mainly want to think about that sweet boy I will never forget. I couldn't sleep last night. After I found out about Brynn's death, I just couldn't seem to focus. I talked to one of my dearest friends last night and while I tried to keep up with her, the world seemed to have lost a little color. I don't know why I'm taking this so hard to tell you the truth. I didn't know Brynn that well and I wonder if he remembered me more than just one of those names and faces you know but don't really associate with anything. It's just that I keep thinking about how his mother is today, the mother that was counting on her baby boy being home in four days, the one that was buying him christmas presents and planning a holiday trip for the family because he had been in Iraq for 15 months. I keep wondering how she will ever be able to face another christmas, if brynn's brother and sister will ever be able to look at christmas with the same rosy glow. If they will ever be able to look at anything with the same rosy glow. I keep thinking about the soldiers that had to watch their friend die in front of them. I know they were friends because Brynn was just the type of guy you had to be friends with. I think about the town of Shallowater, where I grew up, and even though Brynn left their five or six years ago, how the whole town bands together and that each on of them is taking this personally. I thank God for small towns and the people that inhabit them while I run as far as I can from them. In truth, these thoughts did not hit me until I was getting all my laundry together. I've let my laundry go during finals and I was trying to pick out what I needed to take. It wasn't until I realized that I needed a dress for a wedding and a dress for a funeral that it hit me that one of the great tragedies of life had occurred and my main concern was a prof who hadn't gotten back to me and my laundry. I don't know what that says about me that I can be so casual about a war. About all of us. I can support the war in Iraq, I can know that our cause is worthy and I can listen to all sides without blinking. But can you really know what war is like if you don't see a mother cry for her lost son, or see the actual fighting? This boy, this incredible, incredible, incredible boy saved my life today. He saved my freedom. For 15 months he's been in hell so that I can go to class, so I can eat out, and drink with my friends. I didn't ever give him a thought beyond, wow, brynn's in Iraq? How interesting. And what hurts me is that I know that I should thank God everyday for what they're doing. I should do more for these strong men and women. Its not enough to have a stupid yellow ribbon on the back of the car or to thank a veteran when you see one at the airport. How can I debate the merits of Iraq, support it, and still do nothing more than arguing with some liberal? How could I ever have been so casual about the ultimate sacrifice? Brynn Naylor had the sweetest smile I've ever seen. It wasn't just that he lit up the room with it, it was like with his happiness, he could sooth the people around them. Looking back on someone I haven't thought about in so long, I remember the way he smelled and that smile. The sound of his voice, the twang and trill of it. I try to imagine that gentle boy I knew so long ago in a war zone, and my heart hurts. There is no other way to put it, my heart hurts. I try to tell myself that he was a hero, that his life and death meant something. That what this country is doing is just. Today, though, none of that means anything. Today's about remembering a man that was full of potential and promise. That man was a patriot in a world where patriotism has gone out of style or is a presidential buzzword. He was more than a soundbite or a symbol. He was more than someone's son or someone's friend. He was a guardian, he was a savior, he is my hero.

Thank The Sweet Baby Jesus, FINALS ARE OVER! well, kind of.

2007-12-10T11:59:00.000-08:00

The smile of the relieved and the pic I sent Cindy.

I still have to do one take home final, but for all intents and purposes, I'm free, free, FREEEE!

FREEEEEDDDDDOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!

Imagine me saying that just like Mel Gibson in Braveheart, only you know, without the castration and torture thing. Ick.

Now to catch the world up on my life, because even though you don't care, I feel like making anyone stupid enough to read my crap to suffer for it. Really, what are you thinking? Don't you have better things to do? I always notice that more people write on my wall and send me messages during finals week because they get so bored or are just procrastinating. Go back to studying friend.

So anyway, the last two weeks have been one big ball of drama that I haven't seen since I was a theater major or Texas. (ah texas more about that later) The Rodeo Finals are in town so I've been spending the time I should be studying watching all the hot cowboys go into the thomas and mack, which is the big coliseum that all the stuff happens at. 15,000 people in town and you know at least 3/4ths are cowboys. Yum yum. Hopefully yours truly will drag out the ole whoredrobe, go to Stoneys next friday, and knock boots with them. (Literally knock boots by line dancing and two stepping with them, gutter mind.) {You should be ashamed, tsk tsk.}

I'm having too many christmas cocktails as well as meeting to many of my friends at bars or champagne brunchs because all the liquor is getting ridiculous. I'm not getting drunk you understand because its all spread out but my jeans are getting a tad snug. Which reminds me of my favorite study of the month, which is one that came out that says Lubbock Texas is one of the top ten drunkest cities in America. I cannot tell you the joy that flows through me at the irony. This is a city that doesn't sell hard liquor past 9, doesn't serve liquor at all past 2, and all the clubs close at 4. Not to mention you can't buy it throughout the county. Vegas didn't make it in the top 50 and we are lobbying at UNLV to get a bar on campus. I loooooovvvveee it!

Once again, I am enjoying the sixty degree weather that is the bitter cold winters of Las Vegas. Totally makes up for the 120 degree summers. I love all these people that have lived here too long and are consequently are dressed like they are going to take a trek up to the artic after their last final. Boots, a scarf, gloves, jacket, toboggan, and hoodie? Come on. On the other hand there is the girls that wear butt cheek showing shorts and uggs, because they feel the need to both look like a tramp and keep their toes warm.

I love the fact that last Wednesday, a guy dressed up like ninja, visibly creeped like a ninja all over campus an no one blinks. If any comment was made, it was along the lines of "It's vegas." Looooooovvvvveeee it!

I leave for Texas in a week and a half. As usual, this comes entailed with the usual mixed bag of feelings. I told my dear friend Felicia that Texas and I are in the middle of a terrible love affair. We love each other, but we just can't be together. This was in the middle of another long explanation about what Texas means to me. Or even what it means to be a Texan. Of course that doesn't stop them from making you say "something in Texan." You try telling people that Texan is your nationality and you are a expatriate from that fine republic and people think you are insane. But that is what it feels like to be a Texan. Even being 3 years away still leaves lingering feelings of pride. The rest of the world considers it arrogance, which it really is, but hey, we can back it up. The thing about Texas is that I'm always so happy to get there and so happy to leave. I miss my gran, bryson, and all my friends from High School, but thats not my life anymore. It all seems so surreal that I ever lived there. The whole time I'm there, I'm like, I really spent 18 years here? Really? Going there straight from Las Vegas is like coming from Mars. If everything could be more different, I don't know how. Everytime I cross that Texas border, I'm overcome with joy, annoyance, excitement, bitterness, and allergies.

This time of my life is like limbo. I have these ties to Texas, ties to Las Vegas and I'm drifting to somewhere else. If its true that home is not where you live, but where they understand you, then neither place could be considered my home. And I really don't know why I'm pondering all this at noon on a monday when I have so many things on my mind and so many things in my life. Probably because if I'm not having a quarterlife crisis, a metaphysical crisis, an existential crisis, a crisis of faith or depressed, I'm having a nervous breakdown because everything seems to be going too well. I'm beginning to define the word neurotic. lol. There might be something to the idea of being over educated. Too much self analyzation.

If you are still with me, take a breath because the following is something that will change your life.

Okay. Let's establish several facts. I'm a bitter cynic that behind a congenial nature and delicate sensibilities lies a inner abyss of rage and abhorance of mariachi bands. I do not get thrilled about much and further more, as many books as I read, literature for the most part has stopped being a pleasure and has become the suffering of every english major.

However...

I have found quite possibly the greatest book of my generation. (until I write a better one) It is quite frankly, amazing. It changed my thinking on so many things. Its called Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert and it is phenomenal. I will confess that I loved the first part set in Italy more than any other. I started crying and laughed so much in the Italy part. After that things got a little murky, but I think that is because that is where I am in my life. The book is a true story about a woman that goes to Italy, India, and Indonesia on a spiritual journey. It will change your life. It brought me closer to God and made me understand so many things.

While I warn my conservative readers that it has a few anti-Bush remarks, one can ignore her liberal bias enough to enjoy the pure pleasure of reading someone that loves writing, words, and knowledge. Its not a Christian book. Its about religion, but focuses mostly on meditation etc etc. After reading it, I called everyone the book reminded me of and told them to screw finals, go get this book and read it. It will purely transform you. You will never be the same.

That was my book review of the month, look forward to more in the coming weeks when I will have nothing to do but read.

Lastly, here are two songs that everyone needs to download now because they are awesome. For these times by Martina McBride and Devil and the Cross by Halfway to Hazard.

I know that was long, but its been like a month. Expect more in the next few days. Oh what the hell, no one read this far anyway. HAH!

Quote of the day: "Let us step out into the night and persue that flighty temptress, adventure!"~JK Rowling

James Bond

2007-11-19T00:07:00.000-08:00

Who's the better James Bond? Pierce Brosnan? or Sean Connery? The Irishman or the Scotsman? Quite the quandary!

Friday's Pictures

2007-11-16T03:14:00.000-08:00

After viewing the entire democratic debate, you are looking at the only American flag that was shown. The only man that wore a lapel pin, Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico.

D.K. PHONE HOME Dennis Kucinich has repeatedly stated that he has seen UFOs and believes America should be prepared for their revival.

Here's a Bulletin---Students at UNLV are Apathetic

2007-11-15T21:38:00.000-08:00

Students are apathetic at UNLV. Well, Duh. I’m so tired of reading about our apathy towards important social issues. If it’s not the Yell, it’s the Review-Journal’s half page article stating an obvious conclusion. Yeah, we aren’t activists. We get it already. We don’t protest the war in Iraq, we don’t chain ourselves to buildings over global warming, and we don’t join in mass to protest the growing tuition hikes that they are trying to stick us with. Considering the incredibly large number of writers, reporters, and professors that feel the overwhelming urge to proclaim our apathy in a glaring flash of the obvious, I find it curious that no one feels the need to ponder why, beyond the fact that “we are a commuter campus.” First of all, what is the one issue that this campus has been ranting and raving about for the last five years if not more? Oh, yeah, PARKING. P-A-R-K-I-N-G. What has been done about this? Nothing. We have made our feelings known quite clearly. This has been a constant theme, perhaps the only thing that has united this campus. The Result: a worse situation than ever. Even in the reports on the debate, on every channel you had at least one student mention parking. Will it really take a sit-in or chaining ourselves to a pole in the parking lot to get results? Because I have to say, after this debate and during the Rodeo Finals, we could get a fair number. I’ve got the chains people, you got the time? (Of course, we couldn’t really do that because Free Speech zones wouldn’t allow us to protest in the parking lot. And nothing inspires student activism like a freakin’ free speech zone.) I propose that this University does not listen to students on the issues we care about and until this changes, I see no reason to beat my head against a brick wall. They are going to do what they want and they have shown repeatedly that we are merely the poor saps that get suckered into paying for it. Pardon me for not living up to the fine example of the hippies and committing vandalism (such as has been suggested as examples we should emulate) in an effort to get my voice heard. Call me an idealist, but if that’s what it takes to get something simple communicated to the Powers That Be, we have a bigger issue than student apathy. I’ve participated in politics actively before I could vote and have been in several of the groups on campus. I’ve gone to political conventions, conferences, and even attended one of the real presidential debates in 2004. So when people ask me why I’m not involved in the political atmosphere on campus, I ask: what’s the point? The University doesn’t listen to us and we get shut out of all the things we are supposed to participate in. Maybe if we thought anyone would listen or care, we would express our opinion. Give me a clue that someone would be receptive to my ideas and I’m there. Until then, I’ve got more productive things to do. Furthermore, excuse me for not getting all fired up about the debate on campus. I’ll grant you, it would be really exciting if it wasn’t for the fact that for the greater part of this campus, the only involvement that is availed to us is watching the debate in the MSU. Forgive me for not becoming all tingly over watching another debate going over the same issues of the last dozens of other televised debates and townhall meetings. The only thing that will separate this one from the others is it will be extremely inconvenient and there will be 20 second spots the flash Vegas. Big whoop de doo. The only benefit I can see the student body is getting out of this is free notepads from CNN. Let’s face it; as much as everyone is in a lather about the presidential elections, this is the primaries. People pace yourselves. While you may favor one politico over another, let’s face it, they’re all democrats. It’s early days yet. I think a total condemnation of an entire college campus is a little premature considering that we aren’t even in an election year. I am thoroughly disgusted with this University, the political trainwreck that is becoming less like a exchange of ideas and more like a mud wrestling match at Beechers, and the so called experts with the their condemnation of my classmates. Yeah, some students might not know what the heck is going on, but at this point I envy their obliviousness. I wish I didn’t know all the problems that are surrounding us. We might not care about campus events, but I came to college to get a degree. If I want social enrichment, I’ll go to a bar. The conversation is better there. If I want to become more socially aware, I’ll google it. Yeah, we are notoriously apathetic. But me? I just don’t care anymore.

Las Vegas has gone insane...more insane than usual

2007-11-14T18:52:00.000-08:00

It is now official. Las Vegas for the next 24 hours will be the epicenter of all press coverage. Whether it be OJ Simpson, who I happened to see in the flesh today as he was leaving the court house and the helicopters were circling. (see video of helicopters) or the presidential candidates who have taken over unlv, Las Vegas is center stage. The Debates have me thanking sweet baby Jesus that I decided to take classes monday/wednesday because the parking is supposed to be without precedent bad. Legendary bad. Like NO PARKING AT ALL. They should just cancel class since no one can get to the buildings. The Secret Service is all over campus and on everyone's backs. They are shutting down the only student parking available. The only thing left will be the parking garage that holds like 500 cars. If I didn't already dislike the candidates, I would now that they have taken over the school and Las Vegas.

CNN is in their little trucks passing out stuff. Really cool pads of paper. (see photo of me and Kathy with our free stuff) They weren't cheap on the freebies, lord love 'em. I even got a button that says "I totally disagree with everything you just said." Here I have another reason to like them. I only used to be able to stand their presence because they have Anderson Cooper. Who should totally do the debates as Wolf Blitzer is a democratic sycophant who kowtows to their every whim. Which AC is probably the same, but he's hot. These things can be forgiven if was is sufficiently hot.

The students are tailgating tomorrow which tells me one thing---college students will find any reason to drink. Though every time I see a presidential candidate, especially She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I need a shot of tequila. I can in fact drink to that. That should be a liquor ad.

Sin City is going to Hell Tonight.

This whole thing is insanity.

How my professors are leading students to the democratic party.

2007-11-14T10:53:00.000-08:00

This debate tomorrow is going to be the death of me. Besides the fact that parking is a disaster and secret service all over our ass, I have two professors so far today pushing all of us to participate with the debate. I'm in my second class of the day and in both classes, I've been offered extra credit for volunteering for the debate and/or tailgating at the debate. Because nothing says politics like beer and barbecue. For the second day straight, I get to hear about the dangers of nuclear energy and how its bad. Global whining 101 strikes again. Stay tuned for further reports of the brainwashing.

Thank You

2007-11-12T01:29:00.000-08:00

In Memory

2007-11-12T01:06:00.000-08:00

In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved, and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields. Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields. — John McCrae

Aw, Texas, I hardly knew thee

2007-11-09T21:57:00.000-08:00

At this time every year, I feel a pain in my chest that only can signify one thing. I miss home terribly. The problem is now I'm not sure where home is. I guess I feel a nostalgia for the lone star state, the place of my childhood. Texas well always have so many good memories. And perhaps what i miss is my roots. Texas meant a lot to me for a long time. The question is, is that really my home? I don't think so. I'm not enamored of the state like my mother. I'm so over it. But i still miss it terribly.

Quandary of the day.

2007-11-06T16:16:00.000-08:00

ah, the constant quandaries of modern life. On one hand, I desperately want to go to London. I want it so bad. I dream of that weekend in Paris seeing the Eiffel tower or the tiger eye in London. I want it so so so much. More than I think I've ever wanted in my life. This will not be possible if the dollar doesn't go back up. Right now ten dollars American is a little more than 4 in GDP or British pounds. Why the damn limeys can't go with the euro like the rest of their continent, I don't know. But nonetheless, its just way to much of a difference for me to do it. No matter what happens, I'll borrow the money. I wouldn't do that to my parents and I refuse to be beholden to my father. Even though technically they are beholden to me. Nonetheless, I won't use any of their savings and mine are tapped out. I just cannot rationalize a trip to London with things the way they are. I need interest rates to go up so the dollar will get kicked into high gear. Yeah, it will screw up the economy, but the general economy doesn't directly effect my life as long as gas prices stay low. On the other hand, we got approved for a house loan today. I'm not sure the interest rate but I do know that its something we have talked about for two years now. The only thing is that I'm not sure about how enthusiastic I can get when I know I'll be out of here in a year/ year and a half. I cling to this as a way to bolster an otherwise dreary day in which I acknowledge my feelings of incredible hatred for las vegas. But I do want a new house. This apartment is just too small and Teddy and Coco desperately need a yard to play in. I need interest rates to stay fairly low for that. Sigh, decisions decisions.

Battle of the Condom Commercials

2007-11-05T23:40:00.000-08:00

Which do you think is best? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nojWJ6-XmeQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwDXCGXtBKY

Fresh Hell of 11-5-07~Sisters are doin' it for themselves

2007-11-05T14:58:00.000-08:00

Today in my classes its all been about gender. For not the first time, a large number of my classes as circled around the same subject. If I didn't know better, I would think it was planned. Today it was about gender in Sociology and Feminism in Modern American Poetry. My incredibly knowledgable yet equally absent soc professor asked us what we considered the advantages of being female and I won much praise with my list which consisted of:
More social acceptance of emotional outbursts
More range of wardrobe choices
Multiple orgasms
Indeed, it is good to be a girl. He called me brilliant and that soothed an ego that had received earlier the lowest test grade in the history of its college career. Anyway, there was a list of the disadvantages and while that was not gone over in class, they are obvious. Social pressure to procreate, unfair work practices against women, the glass ceiling, blah blah. I say blah blah because this follows in with the usual song and dance that every woman is subjected to in college. We are all victims so lets get out there and beat the patriarchy. Rah rah rah! This would be the feminist cheer if feminists believed in cheerleaders. This kind of infirmary feminism is the result of strong opinionated women's anger over the supposed oppression of my generation. I say supposed because even though we are supposedly oppressed, I find myself not feeling oppressed. Perhaps its my strong personality that denies any man the right to have any say over my life whether it be my dear clueless father or any lover/boyfriend/husband. I had thought that perhaps I was the only one that felt this way. After all, we are subjected to the constant barrage of little barbs thrown by the third wavers that tell us we are the victims of society. I didn't understand how the sweet innocents of my generation could escape at least an inkling of the alleged oppression. After a brief little sojourn to the library for a quick snack and chat with cathy, my friend from soc, I proceeded to my fav class of the day. Modern American Poetry. Not particularly because I enjoy poetry, though I admit the modern stuff is much better than Victorian poetry, (thats probably the prof.) but because of the class quality and the professor is very intellectually stimulating. Anyway, to get to the point, we were studying Adrienne Rich, a feminist poet who went from being a 50's housewife with three sons to a bra burning lesbian. What interested me in the discussion is that Prof L asked us, how many of you consider yourselves feminists? Out of the 12 girls in the class, only three raised their hands. Really two and a half. The two were my dear friends who I knew before the class and they do understand the historical importance and the true definition of a feminist, which is simply someone that believes in equal rights for both sexes. By this definition, almost everyone is a feminist. Yet, one has to ask, why did most of the girls in that class not consider themselves proud members of the feminist movement. Is it perhaps that we do not consider ourselves oppressed? Are we poor dupes that do not see the conditions in which we live? The truth of the matter is that young single women are taking over the world. We are the children of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. Bridget Jones is our hero and cautionary tale. We no longer believe in cinderella and snow white. We can't afford the idea of being rescued because the prince isn't coming and even if he did, who wants him? We are educated, intelligent, and organized. Perhaps not into a movement, but our buying power alone has every major corporation and merchandiser worshipping at our feet. We are going to college more than men, living by ourselves away from daddy's thumb, and we aren't going to get married until we are damn well ready, if at all.
We are in the words of every gay man that is our compadre, Fierce! *snaps*

Instead of the family unit, we depend on our social circle and ourselves. We are the future. We sigh because as much as we love our parents, they just don't get it. And they don't. The world we face is completely different than the one of their youth and its problems are almost beyond their scope. They don't understand our pitfalls and demons. And demons we have.

We have aspirations and the tools to make them reality. We can nourish our own dreams and foster our future. We have it all planned out. We are giddy over our own possibilities. So don't look at us like we are victims that need a special movement that gets us rights or a man to come along to solve our problems. Sister's are doing for themselves.

The Beginning of the End

2007-11-05T14:45:00.000-08:00

I have finally succumbed to my basest of urges and added on to the pollution that is already prevalent throughout the Internet. I have joined the ranks of the deluded self absorbed weasels that are somehow convinced that everyone in the world is interested in what they think. Having not the opportunity to harangue my nearest and dearest as well as the random stranger that always feels the need to inform me of their life, I have decided to created a blog that will be a sounding board for all the crazy thoughts that collect and then subsequently rattle around in my head like gumballs in those big machines. You know the ones, those that when you put a quarter in and they go down the little slide and you have to be double jointed to get low enough to get it out and then you about break your finger getting to it. And then after all that work its banana flavored. I hate banana flavor. For the life of me, I can't understand why anyone would want a flavored gumball. If you want a banana, eat a damn banana. You see why I need a blog? Hopefully in this blog we will tackle such important issues as why all the Winnie the Pooh characters are so damn sexually ambiguous, why I hate anyone that uses the phrase "my situation," and the death of feminism. We will further tackle issues that I find important to my life as I will almost definitely be the only one that reads this peace of shit. Let the fresh hell of the day commence.